“No.” She stroked my arm soothingly, way more understanding than she should be. “You did protect me. You kept her from contacting Jeremy. You saved me.”
Except I hadn’t done that either. Sniffing out my guilt and promising to do anything I had to in order to keep her safe, I kissed her hair.
“Come on.” Keeping her tucked snug in my arms, I stood and carried her out of the bathroom, down the hall, and to my room. After setting her down on my mattress, I pulled the sheets up over her and then kissed her forehead platonically before crawling in beside her.
We lay face-to-face, just watching each other. The dark room was backlit from the hall light that spilled in over her face. She was pale and wilted, her eyes huge and glassy, like a trauma survivor who needed to get her bearings straight before she could even process what had happened.
I started talking, hoping to distract her. I’m not even sure what I said, but I know I told her about how I’d gotten into the business and what it had done to me. It felt as if she just needed something simple to bring her back to the present, even if it was merely hearing the sound of my voice to ground her.
She blinked occasionally, watching me and listening. I have no idea if my words penetrated her brain, but they seemed to do the trick of calming her because she sniffed out a sad smile and wiped the tears off her face for the first time since lying down when I said, “I can’t regret it, though. If I’d never accepted her offer that afternoon, I wouldn’t have started my clientele at the Country Club. I never would’ve made enough money to feel like I could go to college. And I never would’ve met you.”
“I don’t think I’m worth it,” she admitted in a hollow voice.
I could only chuckle, knowing the exact opposite was true: I was the one who wasn’t worth it. “Trust me. You’re more than worth it.” I kissed her nose and sighed. “Okay, so I spilled my soul to you. Your turn.” I traced the scar on the back of her neck. “Will you tell me about this?”
“She pretty much covered it all,” Reese admitted, closing her eyes. “There’s not much left to tell.”
“I want to hear it anyway,” I encouraged softly. “I want to hear it from you.”
So she told me her story, which really was pretty much exactly as Patricia had described it—making me upset that Patricia had been so intrusive into Reese’s life to learn so much—and I pulled her close, kissing her hair.
“I’ll do whatever I can to keep him from hurting you again.”
“I know,” she said with so much certainty that the guilt for not sleeping with Patricia to protect her mounted.
She was so damn trusting as she rested her cheek on my chest and stroked my arm. I kept my arms wrapped securely around her, not about to let go. Ever.
We lay there like that, unspeaking, just holding each other. Eventually, her breathing evened out and her limbs went lax against me. I kissed her hair, squeezing my eyes closed.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, and I continued to hold her until I fell asleep too.
* * *
“Mason?”
&n
bsp; I was dreaming about taking Sarah and Reese to a carnival. Reese was joking with the ride operator for the Ferris wheel, and I was picking my sister up from her chair to load her into our pod when my mother’s voice snapped, “Mason!”
I woke with a start, jerking upright in bed, only to bump into Reese who’d been passed out next to me.
She and I shared a wide-eyed glance before I glanced up at my mother, who stood hovering over my bed with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face.
“Mom,” I gasped, thumping my hand to my heart before falling backward onto my bed. “Jesus, you gave me a heart attack.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she muttered, scowling Reese’s way. “But I wasn’t expecting to check on you and find you in bed with Reese.”
I blinked. “You still check on me at night?” I hadn’t thought she’d cared that much. The woman barely touched me.
“Yes!” she exclaimed in outrage, tossing up her hands incredulously. “I’m your mother, aren’t I? Now, are you going to explain what you’re doing in bed with the babysitter or not?”
I finally glanced over at Reese, who looked pale and wide-eyed. Grabbing her hand to reassure her, I turned back to Mom. “Jeez, Mom, nothing happened. Look. We still have our clothes on.”
Mom lifted her eyebrows as if pissed, which was sort of charming. Maybe she did care about my damned soul after all. But Reese continued trembling with worry next to me, so I set to work smoothing out the tension.
“Sarah…she had a seizure,” I lied. “And Reese flipped out. She tried calling you first, but I don’t know, maybe she dialed the wrong number. Anyway, she couldn’t reach you, so she called me next. After we put the munchkin to sleep, Reese sort of lost it and started crying. I wasn’t sure what to do to help her. So I made her lie down and talk things through. Then we both fell asleep, and you came home, and that’s where we are now.”
Reese squeezed my hand under the blanket. I’m not sure if she was congratulating me for my quick thinking or reprimanding me for lying so thoroughly to my mom, but she didn’t correct me, so I guess she couldn’t be too upset.