The b
ack of his hand slams into my mouth, shoving any other words down my throat. I stumble. My back hits the mirror, sending spikes of pain through my shoulder.
I’ve never been hit in the face. My mother didn’t bother disciplining me. Though I saw men hit her and my aunt from time to time, no man has ever hit me, so I didn’t know. I couldn’t have known that the first hit, that baptism into violence, doesn’t just sting the flesh. It startles the soul.
For the space of a broken heartbeat, I stare at him. Every sensation and emotion—pain, anger, fear, panic—converge into the ache of my teeth and the throb of my lips. I touch my mouth, feeling the smear of blood, but not taking my eyes off him in case he strikes again.
As the shock wears off, my fingers twitch, every muscle longing to strike back, but I have the presence of mind to know I can’t. Lotus said she saw a shadow on Caleb’s soul. Well, I see a snake—a boa constrictor of lean muscle who could crush me with barely exerted effort.
“I’m sorry, baby.” He looks contrite. “I was just so upset that you would accuse me of a dirty play. It was instinct. It won’t happen again.”
He steps toward me, his hand reaching for my face.
My hand raises to ward off another blow. He frowns and takes another step, trapping me between the mirror and his huge body. I swallow my fear and shock so I can speak. “I told you what would happen if you ever did that, Caleb.” My voice sounds strong, but every cell in my body is trembling. It’s an act I have to hold up because I know he will exploit any weakness.
As soon as my words hit the air, I realize I’ve made a tactical error. The phony remorse melts like a plastic mask in a furnace. And from the fire, his true face appears, all bolts and steel.
“Oh, now I remember.” He folds his arms across the width of his chest. “Something about you leaving with my daughter if I ever hit you, and good luck trying to find you. Do I have it right, Iris?”
“I am leaving.” I slide away from the mirror, my back straight and my stride confident, even though the very blood in my veins is shaking. He’s twice my size. The force of his hand against my lips—that strike still hurts.
I ignore the pain and focus on getting Sarai and me out of this house unscathed. I grab an overnight bag and toss a few items of clothing in, not looking at him as I shove a pair of Chucks in, too.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Laughter threads through his words.
I don’t bother answering, but walk swiftly into the bedroom, scooping my purse as I go. I make my way silently into the nursery down the hall, and in the faint light of the half-lit sconces on her wall, grab the essentials and a few outfits for Sarai. I pick her up carefully, praying she doesn’t wake.
When I step into the hall, Caleb is there, leaning against the stair banister.
“You actually think I’ll let you leave me.” He chuckles, shaking his head.
“We can discuss custody,” I reply emotionlessly. “But this is over. We’re over, Caleb.”
The cruel amusement fades until all that’s left is cruel.
“Try to leave me.” His words are wrapped in nails and heavy with warning. The darker centers of his eyes, the irises, are shards of glass. “I want to see you try.”
I don’t pause to contemplate what that means, but rush down the steps. I freeze in the foyer, surprised to see Ramone still here and hovering as if waiting for direction. He looks up the stairwell at Caleb watching from the landing. I glance up to see Caleb shake his head once. Ramone steps back. I race to the garage, my heart pounding as if I’m in a fox hunt with hounds nipping at my heels, but no one follows me.
I snap Sarai into her car seat, amazed that she hasn’t even stirred, and stow our bags in the back of my car, shooting furtive glances at the garage door the whole time. No movement.
I start the car and pull out, rounding the circular driveway and gunning it as soon as I hit the road. I check my rearview mirror every few seconds, certain Caleb must be following, but there are no lights trailing me. The frigid certainty in his voice haunts me. Like he was so sure I wouldn’t get away. My sore lips pull painfully into a crooked, relieved smile. I shake a metric ton from my shoulders and tip my head back into the buttery leather of the headrest. Things haven’t been right between us for a long time, but I had no idea how wrong they would go.
He hit me.
I’m still reeling inside and aching where he hit my mouth with the full force of his body behind his hand. I didn’t think this through beyond getting out of the house, but it’s so late. I’ll find a room for the night and get a fresh start tomorrow.
I pull into the parking lot of a Holiday Inn off the interstate. It’s not the expensive hotels Caleb always reserves for us, but I never cared before and I certainly don’t care tonight. My freedom is the only luxury on my mind.
I park, wrangling my bag and Sarai’s while bundling her in the blanket against my chest. I juggle everything in my arms, struggling to get the door open without waking her.
“I need a room for the night, please,” I whisper to the front desk attendant. I would love for Sarai to sleep through this entire ordeal.
“Of course.” The young man’s eyes narrow, and a smile breaks through his professional demeanor. “I know you.”
“Excuse me?” I ask cautiously, patting Sarai’s little bottom.
“Well, not know you.” He offers an almost shy smile when he takes my credit card. “I saw you and your baby on TV tonight.”