“Mommy will read. Just hold on.” I run into the kitchen where I left my phone, making sure to check the caller ID before I answer.
“Lo, hey. Thanks for calling back so quickly.”
“Of course, girl.” Sympathy and anger mix in her voice. “I wish I could be there. I’m stuck here in New York ’til the weekend. How did this happen?”
“I have no idea. A copy of the file was delivered to Avery Hughes. She’s dating Mack Decker, one of the Waves front-office execs, and she gave him a heads-up.”
“Are you okay?” Concern softens Lo’s usual brashness. “You know you have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Yeah, I know.” My laugh sounds hollow. “But everyone’s going to judge me anyway. Make assumptions. Presume to know. I never wanted this to come out. It was purely a threat to keep Caleb out of our lives.” I flop onto MiMi’s flower-patterned couch. “Man, this is an ugly couch.”
“What?” Lo laughs. “The one in the living room?”
“Yeah. It’s like one of those gators in the bayou threw up a garden.”
“Yeah, it’s bad,” she says, and we share a laugh that dies at the same time. “I miss MiMi so much.”
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“She was amazing.” I swipe at the corners of my eyes, surprised by the tears. “I wish I’d had more time with her.”
“You had the time you were supposed to have. I believe we go where we’re supposed to go when we’re supposed to and that people are in our lives when they’re supposed to be.”
“What if they never should have been in your life at all?” I bite my lip. “I wish I’d never met Caleb.”
“He’s an asshole, but your experience with him taught you a lot about yourself and made you stronger than anyone I know.”
“Yeah, right,” I scoff, picking at a faded flower on the upholstery.
“Listen to me, Bo.” Lo’s firm voice gets my attention. “The struggle made you stronger. Lesson learned. Move on and show the world what a survivor looks like.”
“I just feel haunted by my mistakes,” I whisper, clenching my eyes closed. “And like everyone will see me as weak.”
“Weak?” Lo scoffs. “Fuck ’em. If they haven’t walked in your shoes, haven’t had to fight for their lives and for their kid’s life, haven’t had to survive what you survived, and lived to tell it, they have no room to judge.”
“Lo.” I can’t manage anything more.
“You have Sarai. You have August. You have me. You had MiMi,” she says vehemently. “One person in your life was an asshole, and you evicted him as soon as you could. I’m proud of you.”
The words spread over me like salve, and I can’t speak because of the emotion choking me—because of how much that means.
“I guess August is losing his mind,” Lo says after a few seconds of silence, shifting the subject.
“Pretty much.” I shove my fingers through my tangled hair and sniff. “He was trying really hard to stay calm for my sake, but ‘lose your shit’ was all in his voice.”
“He loves you.”
“Yeah, he does.” I smile wider. “I love him, too.”
“You sound a lot better than I thought you would.”
“I feel better.” I shrug. “It’s like, yes, I hate that people will know, and I don’t know what this will mean for Caleb—his career, endorsements, and all that stuff. He’s so insulated by his money and his father’s power. I don’t think this alone will take him down. I’m more concerned about him pursuing custody of Sarai at some point.”
My phone signals an incoming call.
“Hey, this is August,” I say hastily. “I’ll call you back.”
I click over and settle back on the ugly couch. “August, hey.”