“Now?” I glance down at my cut off denim shorts, Spelman tank top and low-rise Nike Air Force 1s. My hair is in two braids. I have on no make-up. Ordinarily I’d be fine going to a shoot like this. Shoots are hard work, and my appearance is usually the last thing I’m concerned with, but he’ll be there.
“Maintenant,” JP confirms, already walking out the door and headed down the stairs. “Lotus, where are you? You’re supposed to be the wind at my back. My back feels cold and lonely.”
I roll my eyes and mutter, “Suck my dick.”
“What was that, ma petite?” he calls back, his tone knowing and indulgent.
“I said let me grab my bag, right quick,” I reply louder.
On the drive to the Chelsea loft where they’re shooting, I half-listen to JP talk in the back seat about the watch and the prototypes. Mostly, I’m wrestling with my emotions in silence. I’m nervous, yeah, but it’s more than that.
Circle of truth and trust.
Members: One.
Member: Me.
I’m excited to see Kenan. It’s been more than a week since the party. If he’d wanted to get in touch with me, he could have. Through the office or even JP himself. Hell, through Iris, if he’d wanted to, but he hasn’t. The prospect of seeing him again has my fingers toying with the frayed denim dripping around my thighs. Maybe he lost interest in a sexless, simple friendship for the summer. Maybe he’s decided he needs sex, and this getting to know me thing won’t satisfy him. For someone who claimed to want him to leave me alone, my disappointment is ironic. And telling.
“Chaos!” JP declares when we step on set. “See what happens when we aren’t here, Lotus?”
It’s actually relatively calm, but JP hates tranquility. He once told me he couldn’t concentrate in the quiet. I’m sure there’s a medication for that, but those aren’t the pills JP pops.
Chase looks up from the camera he’s setting, and walks over to us. He accepts JP’s continental air kisses, and then pulls me close by my hips.
“I miss you,” he whispers in my ear. “Come to my place tonight and I’ll eat your pussy for you.”
I press my hands to his chest and create space between us. “I already told you no,” I say for his ears only. “Friends or nothing, and the next time you grab me, I’m snapping that hand off.”
“Don’t be a bitch,” Chase says with a pleasant smile. “You don’t want to cross me.”
That dark thing I’ve learned to tame as I’ve matured rises and rears inside me. I once asked MiMi if voodoo was bad, if we were bad. She said we weren’t bad. We’re just.
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“You don’t even understand the power you’ve been given,” she’d say. “Don’t abuse it in anger. Gentleness is power under control.”
“No, Chase,” I answer after a beat to compose myself, to check my lowest impulses. “I’m the one you don’t want to cross.”
“You gonna put a hex on me, Lo?” he asks snidely.
Once at my apartment, Chase stumbled upon some of the herbs and potions MiMi sent with me when I left for college. I don’t practice voodoo like MiMi did. She devoted her life to the people who needed her help. No, I don’t practice, but I’ve never forgotten the things MiMi taught me about magic, about life. That may not be my path, but I descend from a long line of women who walked that path well. I know my own strength. My own power, and it takes all my restraint not to unleash it on Chase when he’s being a jackass.
“You’d do well not to joke about things you don’t understand, Chase,” I reply, a warning, quiet but clear, in my voice.
Fear crosses Chase’s handsome face.
Good.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his Adam’s apple bobbing with a deep swallow. “You weren’t just an easy fuck to me.”
“Whatever we were,” I say, gentling my tone a little, hoping to get us back on even ground, “we’re just friends now.”
He tightens his man bun, his usual cocky grin a little shaky, but still there. “You must admit, the sex was incredible.”
He’s feeling himself a little too much because I’ve had better, but things have been tense enough between us.
“It was good,” I concede with an easy smile. “But our friendship is even better, so let’s stay friends.”