“Yeah.” I love-swipe her face. “Your Uncle Lucius will be here soon, so hurry up.”
She’s gone in a flash of coltish legs and a mop of wild hair.
“Thanks for bringing Simone to see me,” Mama says once we’re alone in the kitchen.
“Sorry it’s been a while. It was hard to get away.” I join her at the table. “And it’s tough for me to be here sometimes because it makes me miss Dad. You thought any more about selling?”
“Why would I? Him being gone is what makes me miss him,” she says, turning the ink pen in her hands. “Doesn’t matter where I sleep at night. What matters is he’s not beside me when I wake up.”
Her mouth turns down at the corners and she blinks several times. I hate that I said anything. It’s been more than a year, and Kenya and I keep trying to help her work through the grief, but sometimes I think she wants it. Like if all she has left of my father is grief, she’ll take it.
She’s a small woman in a family of giants. My father was six-five. My sister, six-three. Me, six-seven, almost six-eight. My mother is five-five in her socks. And she still has about an inch on Lotus.
Thinking of Lotus challenging me in the middle of Rucker Park makes me smile. She makes me smile.
“So how’s Bridget?” My mother’s tone cools noticeably. She didn’t see through Bridget like my father did. She embraced her as a daughter and loved her from the beginning. In spite of Dad’s years of behooving, she was shocked and hurt when news of Bridget’s infidelity broke.
“Bridget is Bridget.” I sigh, wrapping my hands around the tiny teacup Mama set in front of me. She loves her tea even when it’s ninety degrees outside. “This new reality show she’s doing . . . I don’t even want to talk about it.”
“She still thinks the two of you will get back together?”
I laugh, the sound hard and humorless in the kitchen. “If she does, she’ll be sorely disappointed.”
“She should find someone who will love her the way she’s looking for,” Mama says decisively.
“Are you saying I didn’t?”
Mama tilts her head in a way I recognize in myself, assessing and weighing her words. “I think she had a harder road than she thought, being married to you.”
“Wow, thanks. It almost sounds like you think she was justified in cheating on me.”
“No.” Mama says firmly. “Never.”
“But you do think I didn’t love her enough?” I ask with a frown.
“I think your father saw something I didn’t see. You and he are so much alike.” She twists her lips into a bitter smile. “Were so much alike. He was like you before we met.”
“How do you mean?”
“Hard to know. Not prone to open up. Men like you have to be pried open slowly, and Bridget tried to crack you like a nut. For the woman you love, though, really love, it’s not hard work. I didn’t have to crack your father. Didn’t have to pry. He spilled himself with me.” She shrugs and shakes her head. “I don’t know why, really. I didn’t do anything special.”
“No, but you were someone special. It wasn’t what you did. It’s who you are.”
I get that. I feel that with Lotus. It’s too early to think that way, but it’s hard not to draw the comparison.
“It’s not too late for you to find that, Son.” Mama reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “You or Kenya, if she would sit herself down long enough.”
I grin at that and walk my cup over to the sink to dump the untouched tea. “She said she has someone for me to meet when she comes to New York, so all’s not lost on that front.”
“I might get grandbabies yet!” She claps her hands and cackles.
“Excuse me, what’s Simone? Chopped liver?”
“One?” She demands, eyes wide, but sparkling with humor I haven’t seen much lately. “I need at least a spare, since you don’t have any prospects.”
“Who said I don’t have any prospects?” I mutter, grinning and braced for her third degree.
“Kenan Admiral Ross, what are you not telling me?”