“I always felt safe here,” she finally says. “MiMi called this my magic tree. When I was sad, I’d climb this tree and somehow feel better.”
“Then it’s good you came.” I link our hands at her waist and tuck my chin into the curve of her shoulder and neck.
“Mama never woke up,” Lotus says, shaking her head. “I always thought it would be me asking her questions, getting answers that would make the pain go away, but it doesn’t.”
“The pain doesn’t go away?” It’s killing me to hear that because it kills me to see her hurting—to know I can’t make it stop.
“Not all at once, no,” she says softly, but turns to smile at me, her face radiant despite the hurt, the tears lingering in her eyes. “But I’m getting there.”
“And I’ll be right here, baby,” I whisper.
Her fingers tighten on mine and she nods. “I love you, Kenan.”
My throat is on fire. I have no idea what it is about this place, about this woman that turns me inside out, exposes my raw places, but when she tells me that, I could cry. Me, the Gladiator. Known as one of the toughest guys in the NBA, broken down by one tiny woman telling me she loves me
“I love you so much, Lotus.”
“And you’ll always come for me, won’t you?” she asks, a smile in her voice.
“Yes,” I promise. “Always.
“I’ll always come for you, too, Kenan,” she says and then points to the sky. “Look.”
I follow the line of her finger and almost want to thank the sky for its perfect timing.
“Pink cotton candy clouds,” she whispers. “Chasing the blues away.”
40
Lotus
Angel’s wings.
White sheets are pinned to the clothesline, flapping in the wind. MiMi used to call them angel’s wings. I glance around the backyard, opening the door to all the memories the two of us made here.
It rained my first week living with MiMi, and something about the fierceness of the storm, the ominous sky streaked with silver lightning, had called to me. I’d gone to the back porch, not caring when the rain whipped at my clothes and stung my face. The drops had run through my hair, still pressed from the family reunion, until it returned to its original state of waves and crinkles.
“Some people are afraid of the storm,” MiMi had said, walking up beside me.
“I’m not,” I’d said defensively, still resentful of her. Of this boondocks place. Of being separated from Iris. Of being exiled from all that was familiar to a place and with a woman I didn’t know.
“Of course, you aren’t afraid of the storm,” MiMi had said with a smile. “You are the storm.”
I’d had no idea what that meant and frowned at her, not asking the question.
“Lotus.” She had looked from the dark clouds overhead to my face. “We haven’t really talked about Ron.”
My stomach clenched, knotted at his name. Fear rose in my throat and my nostrils had once again filled with the rot of a forgotten sugar cane field.
“I know you said you didn’t want to talk to the police, but—”
“No,” I’d protested hastily, panic gripping me. “Just . . . no, please don’t make me.”
She’d watched me unblinkingly for a moment, her eyes filling with a dark promise.
“No police,” she’d finally agreed. “But there are other ways.”
I hadn’t thought about what that meant, but just felt relief that I wouldn’t have to tell anyone or see Ron again.