This I could believe. He was still pressed against the door as if afraid to come any closer. His hands were plunged into the pockets of his bathrobe.
"Can we just talk?" I asked.
He shook his head. I shook my head with him. He frowned at that. Maybe somebody was home.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"I told you, your help."
"I don't do that anymore."
"What?" I asked.
"You know," he said.
"No, Evans, I don't know. Tell me."
"I don't touch things anymore."
I blinked. It was an odd way to phrase it. I stared around at the piles of dirty dishes, the clothes. It did look untouched. "Evans, let me see your hands."
He shook his head. I didn't imitate him this time. "Evans, show me your hands."
"No," it was loud, clear.
I stood up and started walking towards him. It didn't take long. He backed away into the corner by the door and the doorway into the bedroom. "Show me your hands."
Tears welled in his eyes. He blinked, and the tears slid down his cheeks. "Leave me alone," he said.
My chest was tight. What had he done? God, what had he done? "Evans, either you show me your hands voluntarily, or I make you do it." I fought an urge to touch his arm, but that was not allowed.
He was crying harder now, small hiccupy sobs. He pulled his left hand out of the robe pocket. It was pale, bony, whole. I took a deep breath. Thank you, dear God.
"What did you think I'd done?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Don't ask."
He was looking at me now, really looking at me. I did have his attention. "I'm not that crazy," he said.
I started to say, "I never thought you were," but obviously I had. I had thought he had cut his hands off so he wouldn't have to touch anymore. God, that was crazy. Seriously crazy. And I was here to ask him to help me with a murder. Which of us was crazier? Don't answer that.
He shook his head. "What are you doing here, Anita?" The tears weren't even dry on his face, but his voice was calm, ordinary.
"I need your help with a murder."
"I don't do that anymore. I told you."
"You told me once that you couldn't not have visions. Your clairvoyance isn't something you can just turn off."
"That's why I stay in here. If I don't go out, I don't see anybody. I don't have visions anymore."
"I don't believe you," I said.
He took a clean white handkerchief out of his pocket and wrapped it around the doorknob. "Get out."
"I saw a three-year-old boy today. He'd been eaten alive."
He leaned his forehead into the door. "Don't do this to me, please."