She shrugs, picking pepperoni from her side of the pizza and chewing it slowly.
“I think seeing you with Qwest was a big part of it.” Her lashes shield her eyes from me. “And Rhys calling me a coward.”
“He knew about this?” I’m stunned for a moment. He wouldn’t have let me suffer for years this way.
“Only a few days ago. He confronted me about it when things started falling apart between you and me. When I wasn’t with you for the release, he kept digging until he figured out what I felt.”
That’s my boy! I owe him something overpriced or inebriating.
“I still have reservations.” She draws her legs up to her chest, resting her chin on her knees. “We’ve only been together once, and I already feel like it would be impossible to walk away.”
Her admission is a huge step, one I relish, but I think she’s looking at this all wrong.
“Bristol, having the capacity to love that way, as fiercely as you do, is not in and of itself a weakness.”
She doesn’t reply, but that curiosity that first drew me to her sparks behind her eyes.
“My mom has it.” I chuckle and shift to lie on my side, propped up on my elbow. “I think every strength has a dark side, can be a weakness. She’s learned to manage hers.”
I think of how hard it will be for Ma to accept my relationship with Bristol because of her desire to see me with a Black woman. Or Latina. She did say brown was a color.
“Well, she’s learned to manage most of her weaknesses.” I shake my head. “There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for me. She always said sacrifice is the essence of love. It was the same for her sisters and her brothers, but I saw her draw lines, set limits as she got older and more mature. She didn’t take shit from anybody, especially if it affected me.”
I lift up to lay a soft kiss on her lips, and she opens up, tangling her tongue with mine for a few seconds before I pull back.
“And you won’t take shit, either, not even from me.” I cup one side of her face. “Not that you have to worry.”
I rest my forehead against hers.
“Bris, you have to know how crazy I am about you.”
The lingering uncertainty in her eyes tells me, as much as I’ve chased her, showing all my cards for years, she doesn’t really know. She doesn’t know it’s her and no one else. And who can blame her with my dick waving like the state flag for the last few years?
“The thing you think is your greatest weakness,” I assure her. “Is your greatest strength. That capacity to love, everyone doesn’t have it. That grit to fight for the people who mean the most to you, it’s priceless.”
“You think so?” she asks softly, not looking away from my face.
“I know so, and I feel honored that I have one of those spots in your heart.” I lay a palm against her neck. “I promise I won’t abuse it. You can trust me.”
She closes the space separating us, taking my chin between her lips, meandering over my jaw and finally touching my mouth with hers.
“You know what I want?” Her question lands on my lips in a husky breath.
“Yeah. Me, too.”
I sit up, reaching for her, my dick solid as a rock, but I come up with thin air. She’s on her feet and walking toward the kitchen.
“Ice cream.” Over her shoulder her eyes tease and torture, but I know she needed to change the conversation. So, I let her.
The sweatshirt hits the top of her thighs, and the occasional glimpse of her ass in the white boy short underwear isn’t helping my erection. I follow her to the kitchen like she knew I would. When I swing open the kitchen door, she’s bent over, her upper body buried in the freezer, the sweatshirt hiked up to show off the firm lines of her thighs and curves of her butt.
“I know I have ice cream in here somewhere.” She shifts frozen meat and vegetables until she finds what she’s looking for. “Aha!”
She turns to face me, bumping the freezer door closed with a hip.
“Found it.” She shakes a quart of Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice cream. “This is my fave, not that I can afford it.”
I inspect the lean grace of her body, punctuated by subtle curves. There’s so much more to Bristol than her body, but it’s a really great place to start.