He pulls me around by my shoulders to face him. His hands glide down my still-damp arms to link his fingers with mine, the warmth of his bare chest emanating to my chilled skin.
“Tell me. Now.”
I sigh and slump my shoulders before starting.
“I used Parker to push you to Qwest.” I chew the corner of my mouth for a second. “We weren’t ever actually in a relationship.”
I roll my eyes and gesture vaguely.
“I mean, we dated a few months, yeah, back in high school.”
“And fucked in the coat check.” Grip’s words emerge controlled, but a savage objection flares in his eyes, a warning that beneath the placid surface, a beast bides its time.
“Yeah.” I rake my fingers through my hair. “But it didn’t take me long to figure out it wasn’t gonna work. I broke things off when I started at Columbia and he went off to Stanford. He’s been trying to wiggle back in ever since.”
“So you fucked Parker, after all these years, just so I would try with Qwest? You went that far to manipulate me?”
The scariest part of what he says is what he doesn’t say. The things that, even though not voiced, take flight behind his eyes. Disappointment. Anger. Disgust.
“Not exactly. I—”
“Then what exactly?” he slices over me.
“Give me a chance to explain.”
“That’s what this is. The chance to have your say.” He narrows his eyes. “I just hate everything you’re saying.”
I sit on the bench and press my knees together under the thick towel, trying to keep my back and my facts straight.
“That night on the roof you said neither of us had been in a serious relationship, and that seemed to make you think there was a chance when I really didn’t think there should be. Then before the show, I overheard you talking with Rhys and Kai in your dressing room.”
“You eavesdropped on us?” It comes as a quiet demand.
“Not on purpose, but I could tell that you wanted . . . more. That you wanted to be with someone the way Rhyson is with Kai, and you were held up with me.”
I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees.
“When Parker upgraded Qwest’s room at his hotel that night, it was perfect timing.” I dip my head until a fall of hair hides my face from him. “So I invited Parker to the club. I wanted you to see us together and thought it might give you a little push in the right direction.”
The silence swells with all the emotions he’s suppressing, but they bubble up to the surface anyway, tightening the air in the closet until it feels like a tomb.
“I can tell you’re frustrated with me,” I say softly. “You don’t have to hide that. I can take it.”
“You wasted more time.” He walks over to the few of my items hanging in the space he allotted for me, back turned to me. He lifts the sleeve of a dress and lets it fall. “And we involved Qwest. She got hurt because of us. And Parker?”
He aims a hard look at me over his shoulder.
“You fucked him to advance this dumb ass plan of yours?”
“No.” I squeeze my eyes shut, but that doesn’t keep me from seeing myself clearly. “I had no intention of sleeping with Parker. I was so drunk I didn’t even know what had happened when I woke up with him in my bed the next morning. He had to tell me we had slept together.”
“Don’t tell me that.” He squeezes his eyes shut, a growl rumbling in his chest. He links his hands behind his head, pacing back and forth in front of the bench. “If you were anywhere near as drunk that night as you were at Pirouette, I can’t believe you had sex with someone in that state. Do you have any idea how irresponsible that is? He could have done anything to you. You’re supposed to be the rational one. The level-headed one, and you pull this shit.”
I surge to my feet, reaching for anger. Anything to distract me from the shame and regret weaving together like a chain-link fence around my self-respect.
“I never claimed to be perfect and you aren’t my keeper. I don’t need a lecture, Grip. I’m just trying to tell you what happened.”
“And I’m telling you it’s fucked up!” Grip’s voice reverberates in the confines of the closet. “All of it. You pulling in Parker to get me to sleep with Qwest.”