Her foot moved and punched me again.
"Hey," I said.
She poked me in the knee.
"Temple-" I turned around and looked directly in her face.
"What?" she said. Her hands looked small on top of her knees.
"With regularity I say the wrong things to you. I just don't want to do that anymore," I said.
"Come on, get off your butt. I'll buy you lunch," she said, rising to her feet, brushing the rock dust off her rump.
She seemed casual, pushing back her hair, looking at the trees puff with wind. But I could see her watching me out of the corner of her eye.
"Where we going?" I said.
She took a breath and cleared her throat and lifted her blouse off her skin as though the day were warm.
Because she stood higher on the rock than I, we were suddenly the same height. I looked at the milky greenness of her eyes and the color in her cheeks and the roundness of her arms and the way her mouth became like a small flower whenever there was an extended silence between us.
"Temple?" I said.
"Yes?"
"Where we going?"
She smelled like rain and leaves and there was a scent of raspberry soda on her breath. Her mouth was inches from mine and I saw her chest swell, the pulse quicken in her throat. Then she slipped on the rock and her weight fell against me.
Her hair touched my face and I felt her breasts and stomach
and the tops of her thighs against me, and her ribs and the taper of her hips were like a gift suddenly placed in my palms when I helped her regain her balance. For just a moment, her mouth parted and her eyes looked into mine in such a way I never wanted to separate from her.
"It's real slippery here," I said, my face burning.
"Yes," she said. "Did you want to go to the restaurant on the river. The pizza place?"
"Sure. That's a grand place," I said. "I'll be right with you. I dropped some change a minute ago."
She walked back up the rock through a stand of birch trees that were white-trunked and stiff and arching slightly in the wind, while I pretended to hunt for coins down below, my back turned to her to conceal a problem involving a form of male rigidity that made me wonder at my level of maturity.
Maisey and Doc Voss'S Sunday evening began with an argument in the barn over a parrot, one Doc had just brought her from the pet store.
"You don't keep birds in cages! I don't want it!" she shouted.
"Then take it back. Or go feed it to an owl," he replied.
"That's a cruel and stupid thing to say!" They insulted and shouted at each other and slammed doors all over the house, breaking a bottle of milk in the sink, stepping on the cat's tail, briefly pausing in opposite parts of the house to refocus their anger and then find the other and reopen every wound possible.
While her father kicked an empty bucket over a fence in the yard and ground the starter on the truck, only to find, after starting the engine, that he had a flat tire, Maisey locked herself in her bedroom and changed into black panties and a black silk bra and loose khakis and a white blouse that exposed her navel and cleavage, and put on hoop earrings and rouged her cheeks and lipsticked her mouth and went to work on her eyes with liquid eyeliner and mascara and eye shadow.
When she flung open the bedroom door she looked out the front window and saw her father's truck lights disappearing in the dusk. A strange sense of disappointment and abandonment flooded through her, although she could not explain the Sense of desertion and fear that she felt.
She telephoned Steve, the boy down the road, and lit a cigarette over the sink and opened one of her father's bottles of beer and drank it on the front porch while she waited for her friend, her heart pounding without explanation.
The evening sky had turned yellow with dust and wind whipped the trees on the ridge above the house, and she could smell the rain that floated like a lavender vapor on the hills to the north. But whatever portent the evening held, whatever misadventure might wait for her down the road, she told herself she would shape and master it, that the martial energy beating in her temples would vanquish all the adversaries that invaded her sleep and degraded her person, that were made incarnate in the waking day by the sting of her father's words and the way he tried to control her.
That's what he couldn't understand, she thought. Every word of chastisement he used was like the probing fingers and tongue and phallus of the each of the faceless men who had raped her. It had never been so clear to her. Why couldn't her father see it? She wanted to scream the question in his face.