Best I Ever Had

With time flowing as slow as molasses, I get up, too unsettled to sit for long, cross my arms over my chest, and stare out the cracked open blinds to a view of air-conditioning units and a busy street just beyond. The door clicks behind me, and I look.

I’m not at all disappointed to see Cooper—quite the opposite—but I am confused. “They only said one visitor. How did you get in?”

“I walked,” he says with a smile. My mind fills in the ba dum bump. I roll my eyes and grin, but he’s already busy checking the equipment and reading vital signs. He ducks back out and grabs the chart from outside the door. Apparently, everything looks as it should because he appears satisfied when he returns it to the hook.

I find relief seeing the same on his face. It’s nice to have a doctor in the family. . . Reed’s family. I mentally make a note feeling a little sad that a separation between my family and Reed’s can be made.

“I also used my doctor privileges.” Seeing his smirk is a welcome reprieve from the heavy strain of today. When he moves to sit beside the bed, his smirk falls into a gentle smile.

I remember that look, the one that made me feel cherished and loved. I move to the opposite side of the bed, and before the moment gets too heavy, I whisper, “I knew you had superpowers.”

I’m given a glimpse of a smile when Cooper glances up at me. His eyes return to Reed, and he sweeps his hair to the side. I’d never noticed that my son had the same cowlick as Cooper until I see them together now.

He’s my son through and through, but I feel like an intruder, so I step back and give Cooper time alone with him. Sitting on the loveseat, I’m sure the emotional drain is from the day, but for some reason, my chest feels heavier, the heart clench stronger watching Cooper with his son.

He stays, taking everything in about him that he can. I’m sure he’s spotted the little wave of freckles across his nose that he gets from me. And the minutest bumps on the bridge of his nose that he gets from Cooper. He has my hazel eyes, but those enviable lashes aren’t mine. Reed’s hand is small compared to Cooper’s, but one day, it will be the same or larger than his dad’s.

When Cooper comes to sit next to me, he’s smiling—small but genuine. “I can’t believe I have a child. He’s just . . . everything. So perfect.”

“He is.” I clasp my hands together on my lap.

A shyness comes over him, and he tilts his head down, but he doesn’t look away. “So are you. You’re amazing, Story.”

“He’s the best and brings out the best in me.” Tilting my head to tap his shoulder, I laugh. “And sometimes the worst. I’m not perfect. But for him, I try to be everything he needs.”

His arm comes around me suddenly, and he pulls me into an embrace. It’s shocking, and my emotions go crazy, unsure how to react. But the longer I’m here, the more I let the heavy emotional load I’ve been carrying for years emerge.

Tucked into his arms, I feel safe again. The tears come fast and unexpectedly, but it feels good to set myself free. Reed’s going to be okay. I can finally release some of the worries I’ve been holding so tightly to today and maybe others I’ve held on to for too long.

When I tilt my head to find his eyes, they’re already set on me. My breathing shallows as little things I loved so much with him come back. Forehead kisses and strong arms wrapped around me. Spending hours in bed after the sun set talking about everything and nothing. I still can’t eat strawberry yogurt without remembering how he cared for me when I was sick. My smile grows through the tears, thinking about when we met and the day turning into night and how we were forever for a short time.

The bigger things like the hotel on Christmas and that the camera he gave me was the one I relied on to help to get me through life once he was gone. And although I have a different camera now, that one sits on the same desk I kept like his first note to me once did. I have files upon files of my photography from back then, all because he saw more in my talent than I did.

And for someone who never thought himself worthy, he makes it so hard not to fall in love with him. I rest my head against him, savoring this moment I’ve been gifted once more. Just in case it’s the last time.

“Although you felt you had to protect Reed by leaving me, you saved him. They would have dug their claws in, so I don’t blame you for not telling me or wanting better for him than what I received.”