“You don’t ever need to find the words for that. All I want to do is see you smiling without looking like you’re expecting someone to jump out and beat the shit out of you. I want to see you truly happy and feeling safe and secure. The second I see that, it’ll be one of the happiest moments of my life.”
I sucked in a breath and felt my lip start wobbling.
“You’re special, Jacinda, and you didn’t deserve what happened to you. Please don’t go through life thinking that’s what you’re worth because it’s so far from the truth. Do you understand?”
I couldn’t speak. If I did, I’d start crying, and from the noises coming from behind me, my sisters and Mom were doing a great job at that already. Instead, I just nodded and smiled weakly at him.
“You were dealt a shitty hand, sweetheart, but I have a feeling that this move will help you get past it. Plus, I’ll have a good reason to keep visiting, just to make sure you do as I’ve told you to.”
That got a burst of laughter from me. The first time we’d met him, he’d insisted he hated being called Governor and that we were just to call him Ned. Because we’d all complied, he’d started joking that he kind of liked giving out orders and people obeying them, seeing as how his three kids had never done it, so the last part of what he’d said tickled my sense of humor.
“Now, I want to hear you say, ‘I promise to do as I’m told and find happiness.’”
Rolling my eyes and wiping under them, I rasped, “I promise to do as I’m told and find happiness, Governor Dahl.”
His lip curled at the title. “And just for that, I won’t bring you any mint Ghirardelli’s. I’ll eat them all before I get there and leave the wrappers in the bag to torment you.”
This was something we had in common, our love for the mint chocolates made in heaven. Given that I’d played that trick on him a couple of weeks ago, I didn’t doubt he was itching to get back at me and would totally do it.
“I apologize, Ned. I promise I’ll do as I’m told and find happiness,” I assured him. Then, leaning in, I whispered, “And I hope you do, too. There’s a woman out there who’s just waiting to bump into you, and I wish you’d let your walls down so you can find her.”
Smiling sadly at me, he shook his head. “Let’s focus on your first. You’ve got my number and my email. Use them, or I’ll harass you on yours.”
The care this man had shown my family and me through all of this still blew my mind. There was just no way I’d ever be able to repay him for helping my parents when they were struggling with my recovery.
Telling him this, I squeezed his hand and ignored the tear that escaped.
“The only way to repay me is to be happy and to get out there and kick ass, Jacinda. Don’t think I didn’t see the way those women were glaring at you or hear some of what they were saying. That isn’t friendship, and people need friends they can rely on and who are loyal to them. Find those people, find your safe place, and find your happiness. Everyone has their place in the world, and you deserve to be appreciated and have loyalty in yours.”
It was those words that stuck with me after we’d said goodbye, and I left to rent a U-Haul with my sisters. I did need to find true friends, a safe place, and my place in the world. It’d take me some time to do it, but instead of feeling hopeless like I had been, I now felt hope.
And dare I say it, a little bit of determination.
CHAPTER ONE
Jacinda
Five years later…
I was in the break room at Delicious Divas doing lunges. It was all fair and well buying sexy lingerie, but no one admitted that a lot of them needed to be broken in. The perfect example of that issue was the silk and lace thong I was wearing today.
It was beautiful and a work of underwear art, there was no doubt about it, and that’s what’d drawn me to it when I’d gone into Scarlett Treasures. But holy shit, it’d practically fused itself to me, hence why I was lunging my heart out, hoping to stretch it slightly.
And the bra… I’d adjusted the straps on the damn thing so many times, and could I get it right? No.
“Ah, I thought I’d find you in here,” a voice drawled from the doorway.
People who knew my past and what I’d been through would probably expect me to scream, but I knew the voice, plus this place was my safe zone. The girls wouldn’t let anyone come back here who could hurt me or scare me, so I never reacted how people would expect. I’d also come a long way in the past five years, all thanks to my family and friends and the man standing behind me.