Canon (Klein Brothers 2)

Shaking his head rapidly with his fist still pressed against his mouth, he pointed at Hooch. “Make him stop.”

Stepping over the toys on the floor between the dog and me, I got closer to see what he was doing, memories of the dog we’d had when I was a kid hitting me. That dirty bitch had eaten her own puke once in front of me, and I’d never let her lick me again. There was also the matter of the missing poop in the garden and our suspicions that she’d been eating it, too. My parents had done something to stop it from happening, but I hadn’t wanted to be involved, so for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what it was. The traumatic memories were still alive and well, though.

Surely if Hooch was pooping or puking and eating it, the man child on the couch would put him outside, right?

Leaning to the side so I could see the dog’s face and bracing myself for piles of poop or puke, I frowned when I saw small pieces of white around him on the floor.

“Is he eating the tissues?”

“He’s—” Canon broke off with a gag. “He’s eating snot—” He gagged again, this time evoking a similar reaction in my stomach with the sound of it. “Snotty tissues.”

All of the inner ‘adult bitch’ mantras I’d been proudly awarding myself disappeared, and I automatically copied Canon’s pose and pressed my fist against my mouth at the discovery. It’s just as well I hadn’t witnessed it because I’d—

Poor Nemi blew her nose, the sound of it making me wonder how the hell of the tissue would contain it all. There was just no way.

The aforementioned award winning tissue bounced off the rim of the trash can just then, and the disgusting dog snatched it up. I couldn’t help it—I retched loudly at the same time as Canon, and apparently, the noise was too much for him.

Only just missing me, he sprinted out of the room to the bathroom on the floor we were on. I had to stick my fingers in my ears as the new noises coming from him made their way to where we were.

Bless her, Nemi lifted her head and waved a hand at me to get my attention.

“Can you get Uncle Pirate Canon a toothbrush from my bathroom, please? Oh, and the bubblegum toothpaste. It works on Daddy when he pukes with me.”

I loved that she’d decided to call Bond daddy, regardless of my new issues with name, courtesy of Cyn. I’d been one of the people who’d doubted his ability to go from a party guy to a serious parental figure, but he’d done it and then some. And he loved this kid like she was his own—that’s what was most important to me. He also treated Heidi like a princess, so it was fair to say I was a huge fan of Bond Klein now.

Making a point of sticking my fingers back in my ears and pulling a face at her that made her giggle, I went upstairs to get the stuff for the sissy puker and shoved it in my bra to take down to him. Parking my ass on the stairs, I waited for him to come back out, not once moving my hands away from my head.

Just as the door opened, I held it all out. “For the love of Gouda cheese, make your niece happy and use these to get rid of your pukey breath.”

Shooting me a drained smile and not saying a word, he did just that as I went to rejoin Nemi.

“How are you feeling, little rockstar?”

“Like hammered crap,” she rasped, pulling the blanket up until it covered her nose.

Was crap a word that kids weren’t allowed to say? I mean, I knew the big ones like shit and fuck were a no, but were words like crap and crud ones I should be stopping, too?

Deciding to pick my battles wisely and not raise it, I waited until Canon rejoined us to ask, “Hey, when was the last time she had medicine?”

“Bond said he gave her some just before they left. He’s been texting me every five minutes to make sure she’s okay, so I’ll ask him when she’s due some more.”

See? Totally doted on the kid.

I’d have guesstimated it only took Bond five seconds to call after his brother texted him the question.

“Can you take her temperature and check to make sure she doesn’t have a fever? I bought one of the forehead gun ones and put it on the coffee table.”

Seeing it, I pointed it at Nemi’s forehead and read the screen. “101.9.”

“Damn,” he sighed. “Okay, I wrote the exact time she had medicine and which one it was on the piece of paper next to where the thermometer was. Can you write down the time and her temperature, then look at the instructions for the number of hours you need to leave between each dose of medicine and do the math? If her temperature goes up or anything changes, call me, and I’ll come straight back.”