I wish it were as easy as that, but knowing how in love with the idea of grandkids she was… I couldn’t take that away from her.
Saturday and day drinking…
Day drinking was a hobby I could get on board with.
Before now, I’d never really thought much about it, but I’d had so much fun with Sayla that I was sure I’d never turn it down again. Well, within reason. Even my boozy bitch brain knew I couldn’t do this often.
One-I didn’t need to turn into a lush. A-I couldn’t leave myself that vulnerable. Five-I had businesses to run so I could afford to live and indulge in day drinking in the future. And, finally, reason number H-the appeal of things usually wore off after a while, especially if it messed with my routine—which day drinking undoubtedly would.
As the taxi stopped in front of Heidi’s house, Sayla giggled and lifted her finger to her lips. “Shhh, she’ll never know. We’ll blame anything dumb we do on the alcohol they’re serving. Just make sure you’ve always got a cup of something in your hand.”
“You’re the most wisdomous of wisdom, Du Pleh- Du Pluh—” Holy geese in a flocking manger. What was her last name?
“Dooo Pluhsis,” she snickered, then the smile fell from her face. “No, wait, that’s not my name. It doesn’t sound like the one I hear every day. Do you have that, too? People saying your name all the time? Why do they do that?”
“Uh, ma’am,” the cab driver said hesitantly. “We’re at your destination.”
Sayla clicked her fingers. “Good sir, will you look at the name I booked this cab under and help me out?”
The man looked amused by this as he tapped the screen on his dashboard. “Says here, the name’s Sayla.”
“That’s it,” she cried, throwing her hands up in the air and punching the roof of the car. “Great Scott, we’ve done it.”
Impressed by her PI skills, I clapped. “That was smart.”
Tapping the side of her head, she winked at me. “Not just a wig rack, my friend.”
Grabbing my purse, I dug around in it for some money. Pulling out a twenty, I passed it to Sayla, who also had a twenty in her hand that she held out to the driver.
Taking them, he frowned when he saw how much we’d paid him. “Uh, this is like thirty-one bucks too much, ladies.”
Patting him on the shoulder before I undid my belt and got out, I reassured him, “You’ve earned it. That was the best drive I’ve ever had in my life.”
“Ditto,” Sayla nodded, feeling around her for the damn belt thing. “How do we get out?”
Seeing the little nubbins with the red buttons on them, I pressed on the one that looked like it was the closest to me. When nothing happened, I pushed it a bit harder and then growled.
“That’s not your belt, ma’am. Yours is the one closest to you,” the driver said, watching us with a slight smile on his face.
Lifting a butt cheek, I felt behind me and then felt nothing but pure horror. “Oh, my God. My ass is so big I cover the belt nubbin.”
Sayla, the big bitch, started laughing beside me.
“This is too much,” she giggled, wiping under her eyes. “The look on your face!”
Scowling at her, I released my belt, making plans to run and do that exercise shit people talk about from now on. “Oh yeah? Well, where do you think your belt’s buckled in right now?”
All humor left her as she copied what I’d done, and then looked at me with the same expression I figured I’d been wearing during my discovery.
“We had wine. How many calories are in that stuff?”
The appeal of day drinking every once in a while left me more quickly than it’d come.
“Thank you,” I said over my shoulder to the cab driver as I got out and waited for Sayla to join me while I stared at the bright yellow door of Heidi’s house.
She had a great house on the inside, but on the outside, it almost looked the same as every other one in the development. What made it stand out was the painfully bright front door and the large ornaments and shit she’d put in the front yard. Those little details normally made it look cute, but right now, that damn door was killing me.
Reaching into my purse for my sunglasses, I’d just pushed them up my nose when Sayla finally joined me.
“Got my t-shirt stuck in the door. Thank God the cab dude noticed before he started driving.”
Why the woman insisted on wearing that baggy boho-looking shit today was an unknown, but hopefully her near brush with death would persuade her to let me burn it.
“Told you it was ugly. Now you know even that top thinks it needs to be destroyed.”