Fucking shut up, Jacinda!
His eyes widened as his lips twitched, and then he grinned at me, almost blinding me with how good he looked when he did it. “You’re welcome and thank you.”
Nodding, I turned to say something to Sayla, but seeing her frowning at my crotch had me bending to look at what the issue was. My hot pink leggings with the breathable net panels on them were soaking wet right over my vagina, definitely making me look like I’d peed myself.
“What the hell?” I breathed, pulling the fabric away from my skin.
“Here,” Canon said, thrusting something under my nose. “I left it on the side in here because I took it off when it got hot outside. It’ll be long enough on you to cover—”
I lifted my head as he stopped talking in time to see him gesture at my cooter.
“Her wet twat?” Heidi supplied unhelpfully, getting a glare from me.
Letting out a growl, I took the flannel shirt from him and put it on, only just holding back from rubbing it on my face. My excuse was the fabric was super soft and fluffy, and who wouldn’t want to do that when it felt that good? But the truth was, it smelled of him. Yum!
“Thank you. I’ll get it back to you as soon as the fabric dries.”
Shrugging, he bent down to finally wipe the wet floor. “No problems. Keep it on for however long you want to.”
Can I live in it?
I bit my lip to stop words flying out of my mouth that’d just make the situation worse for me, and then stepped over him and made my way out to the backyard.
Day drinking wasn’t the way forward for me. My ass had already expanded to epic proportions in a matter of seconds because of it, and I’d made a booby of myself in front of Canon Klein.
Fuck day drinking.
After I’d said hello to everyone, I made my way to a corner, keeping my back covered and my face toward all of the people here for Bond’s big day, talking to my girls when they made their way over to me.
I was a sober sister now, but it reminded me how dangerous day drinking could be for me. What if I’d forgotten to stand like this because I was drunk? It meant anyone could have come up behind me, and I never knew what my reaction would be like when that happened. Sometimes I freaked out, other times, I was okay.
Shaking that scary thought off, I spent the rest of the party enjoying myself, drinking water, and talking to all of the awesome people who’d made me a part of their families since I’d moved here. Periodically, I’d rub my chin on my shoulder and breathe in the smell of Canon on his shirt, but I managed to restrain myself from pulling it up until it covered my face and taking in big deep breaths of it.
Just.
“Can everyone gather around, please?” Bond called suddenly, snapping me out of my most recent discreet and restrained sniffing session.
With his arm around Heidi’s waist, he pulled her more firmly into his side as he smiled down at her, the look of love almost nauseating—almost. When we were all in place, gathered in a semi-circle in front of them, he looked up with a grin that would have been visible from the moon it was that wide.
“I was going to draw it out and make some sort of big speech, but now that you’re all here, I’m thinking it’s f—” his eyes cut to where Nemi and the kids were all bumping each other “—fudging stupid, so I’m just going to say it. We’re not only here to celebrate my birthday. The newest member of the Klein family will be here in six months.”
There were excited squeals and shouts from everyone as we all rushed forward to congratulate them. I might not be of the mothering ilk myself, but that didn’t mean that I wasn’t fighting back the tears of happiness for them all. And when Nemi rushed at me and threw her arms around my legs, jumping up and down with a big grin on her face, I felt something inside of me tug.
The truth was, I didn’t want to be a parent because I couldn’t be one. I’d never have this moment myself, never get to experience the joy of telling people I was expecting, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t be beyond excited and happy for the people who did get all of that.
I’d had eleven years to come to terms with what I’d been told when I was nineteen, and my OB/GYN had diagnosed me with polycystic ovaries and endometriosis.
Technically, it wasn’t that I couldn’t get pregnant, it was that the odds were so remote I’d be more likely to win a trip to the moon than getting pregnant. There were also a lot of risks if I did get pregnant and a good chance I’d miscarry the baby. It sucks, but not every part of life had a big bow wrapped around it, right?