Crouching down, I picked up what looked like a shredded lump of plastic. It wasn’t until it sagged over in my hand that I put two and two together.
“I can’t believe Damian managed to kill the gigantic dildo. Shit, do you think he swallowed any of it?”
Closing his eyes, Canon sighed and motioned at me to do what he knew I was going to do.
As I ran around trying to find our cat while he called the vet to tell him what’d happened, I called out, “You can stay here. I’ll just take him to see the v-e-t.” With how intelligent the damn feline was, I didn’t trust him not to recognize the word vet and then attack me for even considering it. “You can take your painkillers and antibiotics and go to bed.”
Hanging up the phone, he shook his head. “No way. I’m going with you. I don’t trust that little asshole not to spring himself from his cell as you’re driving and attack you so you crash.”
See, it wasn’t just me who saw Damian’s evil potential.
Finally finding him lying on his back on our bed, I put him in his crate before he could attack me and ran to the door.
It wasn’t my best night, that’s for sure. Not only did the hospital think I was a dildo boyfriend beater, but the vet took one look at the phallic toy and sedated Damian so they could x-ray his stomach. Throughout it all, he kept giving me the side eye, no doubt judging me by the size of what was left of the dildo.
Just to be on the safe side, they also shaved Damian’s stomach so they could do an ultrasound to make sure he didn’t have any foreign objects—dildo shrapnel or other—in his digestive tract.
After giving us the all-clear, the vet looked Canon over while we were waiting for him to come back around. “Not having a good night, are you?”
“Nope, and it’s all thanks to this guy.” Canon wiggled the mutilated rubber cock around in the air, and I prayed for the ground to open me up and swallow me whole.
See, the vet here was close to retirement. No, allow me to amend that—he’d been past retirement ten years ago, but not many people wanted to be a vet in a small town. Well, that was all changing because Naomi’s half-brother, Jeremy, was moving to town and had bought the practice.
Maybe it was just as well this happened before he got here. If I’d had to stand in a room with him while Canon waved the Jurassic Poke around in the air and relayed how our night had gone down, I’m relatively sure I’d have dug my own hole in the ground and buried myself, no assistance required.
Damian began making waking noises, and we all jumped into motion to get him into the crate before he woke fully. He really was that bad that we all knew the drill and what would be easiest and safest for everyone.
As we walked out to the car, the vet called out, “Best of luck with both of them, Mr. Klein. I think you’re going to need it.”
Spinning around, I hissed, “We just paid him the equivalent of half a liver on the black market, and he has the audacity to say that?”
“Get in the truck, baby. I can’t take any more of your brand of insanity tonight.”
I waited until he was in the passenger seat and then crawled over to help him with his belt, seeing as how his collar bone was kind of fucked and his upper arm was now strapped to his chest.
“I’d just like to remind you that you’re the one who found Damian, and you’re the one who brought him home. I’d further like to remind you, it wasn’t me who bought that fucking dino-cock.”
Did he argue back? No.
Pulling my face in until my mouth hit his, he kissed me before pulling back. “I love you, Jacinda.”
All of the pissed off embers were extinguished with those three words. “I love you, too.”
Crazy instances aside, we had a great life together, and I couldn’t wait to see what the rest of it was like.
It was as we were getting ready for bed that the words slipped out of my mouth.
“Why don’t you move in here? I know it only has two bedrooms, but it’s a good starting home and doesn’t need any work done.”
I’d been playing over the logistics of my place versus his in my mind and hadn’t meant to say the words out loud. Knowing me, I’d probably have texted them to him in a week because it was just easier to do that.
When he didn’t say anything, I glanced over my shoulder and saw Canon standing next to his side of the bed, his eyes on me in the reflection of the mirror I was standing in front of.