Scored (V-Card Diaries 1)

I put the pillow to my face and wonder how hard I’d have to press to render myself unconscious.

“Don’t stress. It’ll blow over in a few days,” Cameron says from behind me in the kitchen where he’s whipping up scrambled eggs and savory pancakes for a late dinner. “The internet has a short attention span.”

“But a long memory,” I say, dropping the pillow to my lap. “That’s going to stay with me for the rest of my life. I’ll be seventy and opening a show in Tribeca and the write-up in the Times will refer to me as the artist also known as Drunk Girl with Urges.”

“But at least you’ll have a Tribeca show,” Jess says, looking on the bright side. Usually, that’s my job, but I’m not feeling very bright right now. I’m feeling like a huge idiot and the worst part hasn’t even hit yet.

When it does, I groan again and sink lower into the cushions. “Oh God, my dad and Derrick are going to see it. You know they will. If it’s going viral, everyone will see it. Absolutely everyone.” I squeeze my eyes shut as a wave of shame washes over me, making my recently settled stomach roil again. “Dad already thinks I’m too naïve to live in the city and warned me not to come crying to him if I get mugged or thrown under a subway car. He’s going to be so mortified.”

“Fuck your dad,” Harlow says. I feel the cushions dip and look up to see her stretching out on the other side of the couch with a sour expression on her face. “He’s an asshole. And so is Vince. And that woman deserved to be puked on. Though I wish you’d hit Vince, instead, that slimy little cheater.”

My brows pinch together. “What?”

“He had to have been dating that girl the same time he was dating you,” Harlow says, making me remember something she said as we were leaving, something about doubting Vince found true love in three weeks. “There’s no other way they could have gotten to the engagement stage so quickly.”

“Maybe they’re just impulsive as a couple,” Jess says, her nose wrinkling at something on her screen. I’m tempted to ask what she’s found now but think better of it. I’ll look myself after dinner and a good night’s sleep.

I’ll be strong enough to handle it then.

Maybe.

Right now, thinking about Vince cheating and me having no clue about it is enough to handle.

“That’s why he wasn’t pushing you to have sex,” Harlow continues, still scowling. “It was because he was getting laid elsewhere.”

“No, I really don’t think so,” I say. “There were…other factors.”

Harlow arches a brow. “Like what? Erectile dysfunction? Because that’s also a sign of cheating. If he can’t get it up for a cutie like you, it’s probably because his dick was exhausted from fucking someone else.” She shrugs. “Or he has a porn addiction or something. Men are weird.”

I hug my pillow. “No, he didn’t have erectile dysfunction, we just… I just…” I pull in a breath, and blurt out, “I’m a virgin. I’ve never done it and Vince knew that and he didn’t want to rush me since I’ve already waited so long and…” I glance back and forth between Jess’s and Harlow’s shocked faces.

“You might not want to talk about that right now,” Harlow says, but I cut her off with a wave of my hand.

“No, it’s time,” I say. “I want to be honest with you guys, no matter how embarrassing it is.”

“It’s not embarrassing,” Jess insists. “It’s fine. Great even! I just always thought… I mean, you dated so much in college.”

“But none of those relationships lasted very long. Not long enough to…you know.” I sigh. “And with Vince it never felt totally right. I mean, I wanted to—sometimes I really wanted to—but there was always this niggling worry in my head that I wouldn’t know how to do it the right way, that I’d be too anxious or weird or something and it would scare him off.”

“Then he absolutely wasn’t the right guy to be your first,” a deep voice rumbles from the kitchen.

A deep voice that isn’t Cameron’s deep voice…

My eyes go saucer wide and Harlow mumbles, “I tried to tell you Hitler was still here, but…”

“Oh God,” I whisper, sinking even lower on the couch. After a beat to catch my breath from my sudden case of heart palpitations, I call out, “Ian, I’m sorry I vomited on you and ruined your night.”

“You didn’t. You missed me entirely and I’m having a great night. I’m learning how to make scallion and miso pancakes. These things are delicious.”

“Thanks, man,” Cameron says. “I’ll give you the recipe if you want. They’re super easy and great to make in bulk and warm up later with some fresh eggs or a little cheese. Oh, and I’m a virgin, too, Evie, so don’t feel weird about it. You aren’t alone.”