The office is bustling with people going about their lives when I get there. I stand among them, wondering if it’s obvious that my heart is breaking. You never really know what’s going on in a person's life, but I reckon if anyone looked at me for long enough now, they’d see that I’m broken. But there’s nothing I can do to remedy it now. I have to keep up the ruse a little longer.
And then, when it’s over, I’ll disappear.
CHAPTER TEN
Wyatt
I’ve never had such a frustrating morning in my life. I woke up this morning alone, wondering where Lucy had got to. I expected her to walk out of the ensuite, or to find her downstairs grabbing a coffee…but she was just completely gone.
I looked everywhere for her, called her name, and dialed her cell but after a while, it became clear to me that she was gone for good.
I can’t understand why she’d leave. I know that things have moved pretty fast between us, hyper speed really, but I thought that we were moving in a good direction. I thought she wanted it as much as I did and still do. After last night, it certainly seemed that way. But if she’s so invested in this, then why did she just leave without a word?
Maybe the intensity of it all scared her. That, I can maybe understand. I’ve never been so swept away by my emotions. They’re carrying me to places I never expected to go. I’m feeling things I never thought I was capable of, and of course, that’s terrifying. It changes everything, for both of us.
I can cut her a little slack if she needs time to process this.
But she could’ve just told me that. She didn’t have to slip away in the early hours of the morning without any warning. She could at least answer my calls. But as I prepare for the workday, the more I begin to think that I won’t be hearing from her again. If she doesn’t show up for work, then I guess I’ve got my answer.
But I’m not giving up on her.
There’s no way in hell I’m abandoning the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Sure, I’ve lived a life of luxury. My success has carried me through my life with ease. I’ve never had to worry about a thing. But she’s the one thing that’s always been missing. She’s what I’ve craved from life more than anything else. I’ve always wanted a woman to spoil, to keep by my side, to care for.
But maybe that’s not what she wants. Maybe she just wanted one night of passion, just to get her pent-up sexual feelings out of her system. And maybe I could come to terms with that. I would never force her in any way to be with me. If she told me that she wants to leave it at last night, at least I could hold on to those memories for the rest of my life. It might be enough to sustain me, to remind me of how good life can be. But then again, what’s the point of living without her? Why would I want to torture myself that way, knowing I had her for a short amount of time and then lost her forever?
I’m angry as I head to the office for the day. Not with Lucy, of course. I could never be angry with her…but I’m mad at myself for rushing in like a bull in a china shop. I was so desperate to get my hands on her that I rushed it and scared her off. I’ve never been so mad at myself. I always have a leveled head but of course the one time it matters most I drop the ball. I let myself get carried away, and look where it’s landed me? Alone the morning after the best night of my life.
There’s a deep ache inside me. It feels cavernous, endless, harsh. It makes me want her even more, just to ease this feeling.
I guess today I’ll get my answers one way or another. If she shows up to the office and wants nothing to do with me, then I guess it’s over. Or if she doesn’t show at all, then I’ve at least got my answer. I’ll have to find a way to come to terms with her decision and let her get on with her life…
But I don’t know how I’ll get on with mine.
The office building is filled with chatter as usual when I arrive, with people rushing around and going about their day, but I feel distant from it all, disconnected. I feel like I’m not really here. Like my body is at the office but my head is somewhere else.
I’ve never felt so low.
I hate the possibility that this is it for me now. Lucy came into my life, filled it with color, and now she’s leaving me in a black and white world. But can I blame her? She has her entire life ahead of her. She can do whatever she wants, have whoever she wants…she’s the most perfect woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, and any man she passes would crave her the way I do.