A gut churning anger was building in Ari as he spoke, that ugly knot inside her chest wanting to separate from her and take control, hunt Nicki and chew her up and spit her back out.
“Most everyone else followed by Nicki and Luca’s example. There were some in my tribe that clearly didn’t agree with my treatment, but they did nothing to stop it. There were others who were afraid of me, of my heritage. And there was one who tried to protect me as much as he could.”
“Trey.”
Jai gave her a humorless smile. “I could kill him for sticking his nose in where it doesn’t belong, but he means well. He just wants… you know…”
“He wants you to be happy,” Ari finished for him.
Giving her a shrug, Jai continued, “What I’m trying to say is that, beyond Trey, I've never had non-dysfunctional relationships. Trey’s the only person I ever trusted. People thought I was a piece of garbage for a long time, but I proved them wrong. I’m one of the best guardians in this tribe and they all know it and they have to respect that. My father has to respect that. Having something I’m good at, having an excellent reputation, means a lot to me,” he admitted. “Ari, it’s not just that I don’t do relationships, and believe me I don’t because I believe it would impede my ability to do my job, but it’s also about you specifically.”
Feeling sick, Ari waited.
Jai suspended the moment, groaning as he scrubbed his face with his hands. Finally, he dropped his hands to stare at her intensely. “We’re attracted to each other,” he said hoarsely. “There’s no point lying about that. But I respect you too much to do anything about it. Ari, you’re innocent. You’re still a kid in so many ways.”
Ari flushed, tearing her gaze away as she remembered he knew about her virgin status.
“I will not jeopardize my reputation and risk hurting you for something that can be nothing more than physical. I don’t have it in me to give more.”
He’d said it before, but now, somehow, it was clearer. For Ari, it well and truly sunk in and only strengthened her resolve to be more independent and to stop chasing men that didn’t want her how she wanted them. She blanched inwardly, wondering if they all saw her as this desperate, lonely little girl just trying to make a connection. That wasn’t the way it was, she thought, pain crushing heavily on her chest. She was in love with Jai.
And he didn’t love her back.
A whisper of warmth danced around her, and Ari felt the familiar presence of Ms. Maggie. She’d forgotten she was in the room. The ifrit had heard everything and was trying to offer her comfort. It helped, if only but a little.
Ari stood up and Jai shot to his feet, his expression wary as he waited for her response.
“Thanks for telling me all that,” Ari said, proud of how calm she sounded. “You know, I said it before, but you really deserve better than what they’ve given you, Jai. You’re a good person.”
“And you’re too generous, but thank you.”
After a moment of stilted silence, Jai headed toward the door. He turned back to give her a small smile. “We good then?”
“Yeah.” At his still wary look, Ari felt a stab of annoyance. “Stop worrying,” she reassured him. “You’re right. About everything. I do deserve more and I get you can’t give me that. It was just a crush. Now I’m moving on.”
An odd look crossed Jai’s face before he could stop it. He quashed the look with a tight smile as he slipped from the room and Ari immediately felt cold. She hugged herself, wishing everything with the White King and Dalí was over already, so she could run as far and as fast from everyone and everything as soon as possible. She needed a fresh start.
Well, there was one being she'd take with her. Ari had a feeling Ms. Maggie was her co-pilot for life.
Chapter
Eighteen
A FATHER’S PAIN SCARS HIS SON
Ari eyed the jinn in the painting. Whoever the artist was, they’d captured the vicious sensuality of Lilif brilliantly, and the similarity between her and the woman in Ari’s dream was too uncanny to be ignored.
“Terrifyingly lovely, isn’t she?” a voice said behind Ari, and she turned swiftly to watch as Luca approached her. For the first time, Ari could see Jai in him. The powerfully sleek walk, like a panther in a jungle, the stern face, the air of competence he wielded like a weapon. Yes… they were alike in ways neither of them wished to acknowledge.
“Sorry?” Ari asked, confusion wrinkling her brow.
“Lilif.” Luca nodded to the painting as he came to a stop beside her. He was broader than Jai, his face rougher, more striking than handsome. Still, he had the same ability to overwhelm her with his presence as Jai did. At least with Jai, she trusted him. With Luca, she was still uncertain if he could be trusted.