“Uh-huh,” Drayce agreed drily. “And how are you going to explain me boarding the ship with you? How in the world did I get to the Isle of Stone if not with you?”
“Well, one option is that you fly back to Stormbreak and meet us there. We can just say that you were captured by the Empire and escaped.”
Drayce snorted. “Except there’s no way I am letting you out of my sight for that long.” His lover tightened his arms around him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I fucked up on Mount Langbo. You are never going to be separated from me again. Even if you die, I die with you.”
Caelan clenched his eyes shut and shuddered. “You’re not dying. I won’t allow it.”
There was a softly huffed laugh that Caelan felt more than heard. “You’ve been spending way too much time with the gods. They’re starting to give you a complex. Pretty soon you’ll be believing you’re a god too.”
“I’m king, right? Isn’t that close enough?”
Drayce hummed and Caelan smiled at the feel of it against his spine. “I think it is. You’re my king. My Cael.”
“I am. Just like you’re my dragon. My Drayce. Nothing is ever going to change that.”
“After we travel to the Light Stone, meet with the God of Wisdom, and deal with Zyros, you’re going to shed all these gods and goddesses, right? They’re not going to keep sticking around.”
Caelan chewed on his bottom lip and stared out at the ocean as he turned over Drayce’s words. He made it all sound so simple. As if it was going to be nothing to go into the capital of Ilon and gain access to the godstone there. It wasn’t like they’d run into trouble in Caspagir, Zastrad, and the Isle of Stone. Fuck, he had problems in his own kingdom keeping him from bonding with the Goddess of Life.
And then “deal” with the Goddess of the Hunt. They’d already gotten a good taste of what her powers were like from their tangles with Safa. Caelan didn’t want to actually face the goddess herself. Even as he overflowed with the power of five gods, could he still beat someone like that?
But the question that had started to nag at the back of his mind since meeting Caris was, did he even want to?
Of course, he didn’t want Zyros destroying all of Thia and turning it into a jungled no-man’s land like the Ordas, but he was getting the distinct impression that Zyros was a victim in this bloody game among the gods. He didn’t want to be the executioner of someone who didn’t deserve this torture in the first place.
“Cael? Hey!” Drayce jostled him, jerking him from his thoughts. He hadn’t realized he’d gone silent for so long. “You’re not seriously thinking about keeping all these bonds!”
“What? No!” Caelan planted his hands in the cold sand and awkwardly sat up, pulling out of Drayce’s arms. He turned to face him and immediately missed his lover’s natural warmth, but he needed to look Drayce in the eyes as he spoke. “No, I don’t want all this power. If I had the choice, I’d give up even my bond with Tula. All the noise and arguing and the—” Caelan suddenly cut himself off, his eyes darting over to the waves. He’d almost said too much.
“What? The fact that they’re slowly killing you?”
Caelan’s heart tripped and he jerked his eyes back to Drayce to find him smiling sadly at him.
“You think you’re actually hiding it from us?” Drayce rolled his eyes and made a scoffing noise. “Dude, we’re with you almost twenty-four hours a day. We can see it. We know you’re in pain and that the gods are steadily wearing you down.” Drayce cupped his cheek and pulled Caelan’s head forward until their foreheads touched. “Any of us would happily take your place if we could. We’d give our lives for you. Not because you’re our king, but because you’re our friend.”
“I didn’t want any of you to worry.”
Drayce laughed roughly. “We know. Poor Cael, the king who wants to protect us all.”
Caelan just stared at the waves rolling in and crashing on the sandy shore. The sky had turned a dark slate gray as they talked and the fire was sending shadows slinking across the beach. Drayce was right. He did want to protect them all. He wanted Eno and Rayne to have a happy life together where they bickered over who was cooking and who was cleaning up the mess. He wanted more days just lounging with Drayce, talking about nothing at all and stealing kisses whenever he wished.
But as Nyx loved to remind him, his time was winding down. Faster than ever before. He had to cherish what time he had left and stop Zyros while he could.