Hazel was silent for a moment. “You told him that, huh?”
“Didn’t stop him from climbing in, but yeah. I’m trying to set boundaries,” I said a little desperately, omitting the part where I’d nearly kissed him during our snow fight and the jealous display in front of the guy who’d shown up at the door. “Because we all know Parker and Erin will end up together eventually.”
My tone begged for her to disagree, but she only sighed.
“How is Erin? Have you heard from her?”
“Yeah, she’s… she says she ran into Nolan down there.”
It took me a minute. “My Nolan?” I bleated.
“I didn’t think you had feelings for him.” I could tell by her voice she was worried.
“No, I don’t. Not at all. But still… that seems… highly unusual.”
Hazel’s laugh was comfortingly familiar. “That’s the understatement of the year. It’s creepy. What’s worse is I don’t think she ran into him, Jules. I think she invited him to go with her. I think they’re down there together.”
An incredulous laugh burbled up. “This is unbelievable. It’s like a reality television show. Why the hell would Erin take that asshat to Mexico?”
I spotted the broken security light still hanging by its wires on the corner of the garage. Screw it, I’d call someone else to fix it. The idea of Parker going back up on the ladder when there was this much ice on the eaves made me nervous.
“She said she was digging his open and easy vibe. He’s supposedly all about trying new things and having adventures. He’s helping her expand her consciousness. She likes that he calls her ‘E’ because—I kid you not—she says it makes her feel like a ‘brand-new person.’”
I looked up at the deep blue sky. Erin was an idiot, plain and simple. Who gave up a lifetime of Parker Ellis for a throwaway week with Nolan? My brain couldn’t even fathom it.
“Will Parker be upset?” Hazel asked.
“Well, for one, I’m not planning on telling him. For another, probably not. He keeps telling me Erin made the right choice because they wanted different things. When I asked what the hell that meant, he said she likes to travel and he doesn’t. She likes to try things like skydiving and bungee jumping and he doesn’t. He even said she’d been on one of those drug-induced ‘journey’ weekends and wanted him to come on the next one.”
Hazel snickered. “Yeah, that was when she and I grew apart a little, to be honest. I think deep down, she hasn’t figured out what she wants out of life. She’s the queen of trying weird things and then freaking out and running back home to safety. Then it’s like she recharges her batteries with Rod, Lorraine, and Parker before going back out to try something new.”
The truth of her words struck me so suddenly, I sat down hard on the porch’s wooden bench. “Fuck.”
“But I thought this time was different. I really thought she was ready to settle down. Otherwise, why propose? Why talk Parker into the big wedding?” she continued.
“Why do you think she did it?” I felt weightless with nerves. When Parker learned this, that he’d essentially been used all these years as a safe place to land, he’d be devastated. He deserved more than this. He deserved to be someone’s everything. Someone’s permanent home, not just a temporary landing pad.
Hazel let out a frustrated breath. “Honestly, it sounds awful, but I think it was FOMO. All her friends have gotten married lately, and she was sick of being the bridesmaid. The one who couldn’t commit. But also, her parents were pressuring her to stop stringing Parker along. You know how much Rod and Lorraine care about him.”
I stood up again to pace down the front walk. When I turned back, I noticed Parker singing into a butter knife like it was a microphone.
I loved him so much it made me dizzy.
“Then why didn’t she follow through with it?” I asked myself more than anything.
“Maybe Nolan reminded her commitment wasn’t really what she wanted. Jules… you need to tell him. You need to make sure he doesn’t hear it from someone else.”
“Fuck,” I said again.
I’d do anything to protect his heart, but Hazel was right. I needed to tell him. It had been bad enough thinking Nolan had triggered all of this in the first place and that Erin might have gone along with the wedding if it hadn’t been for Mr. Open Sexfest sitting at the rehearsal dinner swapping stories of fun in the sun with no restrictions. It was so much worse thinking that she’d taken him on Parker’s honeymoon. Remembering how Parker had put in so much effort to make the trip special for Erin made me want to throw something… specifically Nolan.
A faint voice in the back of my head reminded me no one could lure another person away from a wedding they truly wanted, but that voice was pretty damned dim at the moment. My guilt was much, much louder.