And that man—her paired mate, who couldn’t hide his revulsion of her—seriously wanted to know why she hadn’t approached the GhostWalkers once she discovered their compounds nearby? She had more than one reason, but why would she disclose them to someone she couldn’t trust? She wasn’t going to lie to him. She doubted if he would believe a lie from her. So she gave him a portion of the truth. “I’ve been alone so long that I didn’t know how to handle the thought of seeing anyone.”
Jonas continued to stare at her with his golden eyes. Completely focused. The eyes of a predator. She was looking at the hunter now, and she knew it. He wasn’t going to take a partial answer from her. He remained silent, waiting.
Camellia’s fingers inadvertently tightened around the branch, and she knew he noticed. His gaze didn’t shift toward that minute movement, but something about him conveyed his instant knowledge. She was a predator as well, but she suspected his hunter’s instincts were natural-born, a part of him long before he was ever enhanced. She recognized he was very, very dangerous. She had several advantages, one being she was always underestimated. Always. She had nearly given away one of her most important advantages.
He was still waiting for her to explain why she hadn’t approached the GhostWalkers or the women with them who’d once been her friends. She gave a light shrug of her shoulders. “I knew Marigold was going to stay with Ken Norton. She told me she was. I don’t trust as easily.”
She had nearly trusted easily, simply because her connection to Jonas had been so strong, partly because of the mycelium network but mostly through the Middlemist Red. He wasn’t even aware of that one, and she hoped he never became aware of it. She’d almost given it away with her talk of Whitney and his love of exotic flowers and greenhouses. She couldn’t imagine what kind of Frankenstein he’d think her—and him—if he realized the truth of what Whitney had done to them.
Camellia regarded what she was as a miracle. Something extraordinary. Maybe because she had realized all the amazing things she could do thanks to her enhancements. Middlemist Red and the mycelium protected her and kept her company. Middlemist Red gave Camellia the opportunity to create her garden and surround herself with beautiful plants and trees. She could grow food easily all year round, even during the coldest part of the season. She was able to set up illusions and use both the mycelium and Middlemist Red networks to establish grids of alarms to alert her if anyone came near her home.
“Camellia.”
Jonas continued to level that golden gaze at her. Now it appeared glittery. More cat than not. A warning. A little shiver crept down her spine.
She let out an exaggerated sigh. He had sacrificed his pride; so could she. “I know how people react to me when they find out what I am. I’ve learned to live without that kind of prejudice, and I’m not willing to think badly about myself again. I have no interest in having people know what I can do. I especially don’t want anyone to think they can use me for experiments or even to tell me what to do ever again. I’ve been my own person for a long time. I don’t need or want a chain of command.”
She could see that resonated with him. It was the truth, or most of it, the way she saw it. She might want to see her sisters, the women she’d grown up with, but they were different. They’d moved on. They had lives completely different from hers. She didn’t want to blame them and she didn’t want to envy them. She wanted to be happy for them. She no longer trusted anyone. She had to fight to keep from being bitter. It wasn’t in her makeup, and she refused to allow it by starting up relationships better left alone. Jonas didn’t need to know any of that. She wasn’t about to explain it to him.
Camellia was also aware she couldn’t stay here if she didn’t go down and at least let the GhostWalkers know she was on the same mountain with them. Before Jonas’s arrival, she’d been wrestling with the choice between starting over somewhere else or forcing herself to actually be around a GhostWalker team. Sadly, when it came to the GhostWalkers, she just couldn’t see putting herself in that position. Jonas’s reaction had simply reinforced the conclusion she’d already come to. She knew her decision was based on more than that, but she didn’t allow her mind to dwell on anything else. That was enough.
The moment Jonas was gone, she was going to get out.
“It doesn’t make sense to go it alone, Camellia,” Jonas said.