address unknown glared at me in fat, red letters.
“The letter you sent your mom?” Holly asked.
“Yeah,” I whispered. “She moved. She didn’t even bother telling me.”
“Maybe she just hasn’t had the time yet? I’m sure she’ll send you a letter soon.”
It was doubtful.
One thing I admired about Holly was the way she always tried to see the positive in everyone. But she hadn’t met my mom or the many questionable men she’d dated. And Holly couldn’t possibly understand. She had caring parents and four younger siblings who loved her despite her Variation, who took her home for Christmas each year and sent her letters and small gifts, though they didn’t have much money. She hadn’t been abandoned by her father, hadn’t been brushed off by her mother like a bothersome pet. Her parents didn’t hate her for what she was.
I remembered the first time I shape-shifted; I was five. Mom and I were living in a small, dank one-room apartment in New York with a guy who spent most of his nights screaming and his days passed out on the sofa. There was a playground across from the apartment building and on that day Mom was nursing a headache like she so often did, so I ventured outside alone. Nobody paid me any attention. Instead of playing with the other kids, I watched the mothers interacting with their children, studying the way they’d hug them and hold their hands. Without realizing what I was doing, I changed into the shape of a girl I’d bumped and went over to her mother, who stood talking to a few other women. I asked her if we could go home and, after a moment of hesitation, she left with me—without noticing that her real daughter was still playing on the other side of the playground.
Holding her hand while we walked home felt wonderful. Unfortunately, I soon shifted back to my own body and the woman immediately realized her mistake. She probably thought she’d gone mental. Maybe that was what kept the woman from asking questions. After she was reunited with her real daughter on the playground, we encountered my mother, who had gone in search of me and witnessed the entire event. I remembered Mom’s anger and panic afterward, the way she’d shouted at me for leaving the house and demanded an explanation for what I’d done. Mom hastily packed a suitcase and we left our apartment two hours later without telling her boyfriend. We never returned. It wasn’t our last move. Every time I shifted, Mom feared someone might have seen, and we fled our home once again. I’d lost count of the times it had happened.
“She’s probably run off with a new guy.” I crumpled the letter before chucking it into the trash can. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter.”
I turned away from Holly’s sympathetic face and concentrated on shifting. The rippling sensation washed over me, making me shudder. Holly kept her eyes on me through the shift, her expression alight with fascination. She’d seen me shift so often, I was amazed she wasn’t used to it by now.
“I wish I had your talent. It’s so cool.”
“Says the invisibility girl.”
That raised a smile, but then she shook her head. “It’s too hard to be nice to you when you look like that.”
Kate’s face was staring back at me in the mirror. My own turquoise eyes, auburn hair, and annoyingly freckled nose were gone. Instead I had straight blonde hair, strange coppery eyes, and long legs. My T-shirt strained over her bigger chest and my jeans were too short for her body. That was a reminder of her superior looks that I really didn’t need. She had breasts to show off. And she, like Holly, had a family who loved her—Variants who were off somewhere in the world working for the FEA. It was frustrating how lucky she was—having parents who were like her, who understood what it meant to be different. Variation usually skipped a generation but, of course, even that rule didn’t apply to Kate.
“Hey, stop the sad-face. Kate never looks like that.”
I tried to imitate the slightly bored expression she usually wore.
“Better?” I asked with the perfect imitation of Kate’s trademark smirk.
Holly shuddered. “Much better. I want to punch you.”
I gave a small bow, but my insides started to do flips. Holly handed me Kate’s clothes and I slipped into them. Skinny jeans, half boots, and a silky cream-colored blouse.
“Now go. I’ll take a swim to keep an eye on Kate. Don’t want her to burst in while you’re attached to Alec’s lips, or dick, right?” She ushered me out of our room, closing the door in my face.
I stared at the wood for a moment before I hurried toward Alec’s room at the far end of the corridor. The closer I got to Alec, the stronger the pull seemed to get, and the more uneasy I felt about what I was about to do. I knew there were reasons for the rules of the FEA, meant to strengthen trust and peace among the agents. That kind of unwavering trust was necessary among a group of people who were able to breach the privacy of the mind, change into whoever they liked, and turn invisible. And I was about to risk it all.