“You’re freezing,” he said. My head fell forward, my cheek pressed against his chest, and I looked up at him. Though I wanted to speak, no sound left my lips. Another head appeared beside Alec’s. Summers rested her calloused hand on my forehead and I leaned into the touch. They were all so warm.
“Run a hot bath,” Summers ordered and Major obeyed without hesitation. Alec carried me into the bathroom. When he began to lower me onto the edge of the bathtub, I clutched at him, a choked sound of protest shuddering from my mouth. I’d never felt this cold before, as if the fog had somehow invaded my body and taken habitat deep inside my bones.
“Don’t leave.”
Alec met my gaze. He looked like someone had stabbed him and was twisting the blade. My fingers curled around his collar. “I need you,” I whispered, the words as wispy as mist. Right this moment, I didn’t care what had happened between us. I could return to feeling resentment later.
Summers pried me away from him. I’d nearly forgotten she was there. She panted with the effort of supporting my body. Alec had carried me as though I weighed nothing.
“Alec.” Major’s voice thrummed in my head. Turning his eyes away, Alec slowly left the bathroom, shutting the door after him.
Summers set me down on the toilet seat. Like a puppet without its master, I slumped down into a heap. Summers didn’t speak as she held me upright and removed my clothes. Slowly, she lowered me into the tub, where the running water scorched my skin. She sat down on the edge. I sank farther down into the water, trying to cross my arms over my chest. It took me three attempts before I succeeded.
Summers crossed her legs, the leather of her pants squeaking as it rubbed together. Her face was tense. “This meeting was intended to get you and Alec back on track, to stop your personal problems with each other from getting in the way of this mission.” I ignored her words, instead watching the way my skin turned lobster-red from the scalding hot water. I didn’t think she expected me to talk and I wasn’t sure if I could.
“We knew this mission would be difficult for you in many ways. We knew making you part of a family was going to be uncomfortable, but it was a risk we had to take.” I wasn’t exactly sure where this was going. My thoughts were still fuzzy and I needed to tell them about my discovery. “I need you to listen to me. Later, when we join Major and Alec, you can tell us what happened. But I want to say this now. I probably won’t get another chance to talk to you alone any time soon.”
The feeling slowly returned to my legs and they began to prickle.
“I’ve seen the way you look at Alec.”
I closed my eyes as if that could stop her from saying more.
“It’s not good to want something or someone you can’t have. It’s self-destructive, and believe me, I know what I’m talking about.” I saw hurt beneath the hard lines of her square jaw. If she really knew how I felt, then she also knew that I couldn’t switch my emotions off. Summers sighed. “You know, you’re still in Madison’s body, have you even noticed?”
I hadn’t. The rippling started in my toes and traveled up my body. It took a full minute to shape-shift back to my own body. I was still weak.
I slumped against the tub. The rippling sensation washed over me again—this time without my volition. Twisting, warping, stretching. Water sloshed over the edge and Summers let out a startled gasp. I didn’t have to look into the mirror to know I’d changed back to Madison.
What the hell was happening? First I couldn’t change into Madison and now I couldn’t return to my own body. But the worst thing was the way I didn’t even mind. Madison had allowed me to live a life I had only dreamed about: a life with a family who loved her.
Summers handed me a towel, her expression blank. “You’re losing yourself in Madison. You have to accept that her life can never be yours. It’s important that you don’t forget that. Everyone wants to be someone else sometimes, but it’s crucial to be able to move on.”
A few minutes later, we returned to the living room. I was still in Madison’s body, dressed in clothes Summers had given me. Major and Alec stopped talking when we entered.
“You look better,” Major said. “Now tell us what happened.”
I told them about the mist, about the newspaper articles, about my suspicion. The words spewed out of my mouth without pause.
“I need a drink,” Summers said as she got up and went into the kitchen. She returned with something that looked and smelled like tequila, along with a hot chocolate for me. I would have preferred a tequila too, but Major and Summer preferred to pretend we didn’t drink hard liquor in FEA parties. Maybe Summers had more maternal instinct hidden behind her hard shell than I’d given her credit for.