Ana glanced toward the living room, where Jason stood waiting for her in the doorway.
“It’s okay if you go to him, you know,” I said. I should be looking around for evidence anyway.
She looked conflicted but after an encouraging smile from me, she dashed off, leaving me alone with my drink.
Seizing the moment, Ryan strode into the kitchen and propped himself up on the counter. He sipped his beer, never taking his eyes off me. “So, are you and that Alec guy together, or what?”
“No. I mean, not really.”
Ryan leaned closer until our shoulders were touching. “I’m sorry about the other day,” he said. “But when I see you, I can’t think straight.”
“We broke up months ago.”
His face tightened. “I know. And I hated every minute of it. I can’t stand the thought of seeing you with another guy. I want you back, Maddy. I want a fresh start.”
“I don’t think that’s possible. We both need to move on.”
“But I can’t!” Frustration flashed in his eyes. “Don’t you get it? I don’t think I can ever feel the same way about anyone.” He grabbed my hand but Alec was on his way into the kitchen. Ryan glared at him before storming out of the room.
“What did he want?”
“The usual.”
“Is that vodka you’re drinking?” Alec crossed his arms with disapproval.
He took the cup out of my hand and sniffed. His lips twisted. “Vodka,” he said, as if he was addressing a small child.
“Stop patronizing me. I’m not a baby.”
“You shouldn’t be drinking.”
I stared pointedly at the cup in his other hand. He was giving me a lecture? “You’re not allowed to drink either, but you are.”
“No, I’m not. I dumped my beer and refilled it with apple juice because I want to stay lucid. I pretend to drink because I want to do my job of fitting in. You still realize that this is a job, right? It’s not always meant to be fun. Sometimes I think you forget that.”
Even though he didn’t say it outright, I knew he was also referring to the incident in the living room.
“You sound like Major.” I pushed past him. “I’m off to pretend to have fun. Sometimes I think you’ve forgotten what ‘fun’ means.”
I headed into the throng of people grinding against each other in various stages of drunkenness. I spotted Ana, her body entwined with Jason’s, their lips locked as they rocked back and forth to the music. Ryan wasn’t in the living room. He probably needed time to cool off. Maybe I should go after him and try to squeeze some kind of information out of him.
Someone tapped me on the shoulder and a scowl immediately blossomed on my face. It was Phil. Had Francesca actually invited him or was he a party crasher? He pushed his hands into his pockets and looked at his feet. “Hey. Do you want to dance?”
My eyes darted over the crowd, looking for Alec. What would he say if I danced with someone else? The bass was working its way through my body along with the vodka. A haze spread in my head. Phil took a step back, embarrassment crossing his face. “Nevermind. Forget it. I shouldn’t have asked.” He turned to leave but I gripped his arm, only to shy back, as a strange sensation prickled in my fingertips. Our gazes locked and his eyes grew wide. We stood too close but I was unable to move.
“Leave her alone.” A tall shape appeared in front of me, causing Phil to stagger a few steps back. Alec. I took a step forward to stop him. Shock rendered on Phil’s face, but for a moment it looked like he considered fighting back. “Go,” I said. He hesitated, the flush spreading further on his cheeks before he stormed away.
“What the hell was that? Why were you looking at him like that?” Alec hissed.
“He asked me to dance.” I didn’t mention the strange sensation I’d felt when I’d touched Phil.
“Dance?” His mouth twisted. “He was looking at you like he wanted to devour you.”
Was Alec really jealous of Phil? “So what, Alec? Why do you even care? You’ve made it very clear that you don’t give a shit about me.”
I pushed past him and fought my way through the masses and over to the stairs. Thankfully the bathroom wasn’t occupied. I shut the door behind me and slumped against it. Thinking about Alec made my head hurt. Why did everything have to be so complicated?
I splashed some water on my face and looked up at my reflection through the water droplets clinging to my lashes. Dark blonde lashes, dark blonde hair, and blue eyes. I realized I wasn’t even surprised to see that face anymore. It had become a part of me, the same way Madison’s parents, her quirky uncle, and her best friend had all become my world.