Alec’s fingers soon slowed. My pulse didn’t. Nor did my breathing. The proof of his own arousal pressed against my thigh.
Somewhere a door creaked. I tensed, very aware that Alec’s hand was still between my legs, his finger still pressed—almost possessively—against my clit, and that I was still in a state of undress I didn’t want to share with anyone in the agency. As lithe as always, Alec jumped into a squat, wrapped a towel around me and then straightened to check our surroundings. The towel tower and the potted plant might shield me from prying eyes if the intruder came from the right direction.
Alec briefly disappeared from view and I held my breath, trying to listen to sounds. I tugged my bikini back in place and shivered briefly as I remembered what just happened. I still felt a pounding between my legs, a delicious afterglow of the pleasure Alec had given me.
Alec returned, looking more like his usually controlled self. When our eyes met, the energy between us had changed again. Things between us were still . . .uncertain, almost awkward. I cleared my throat.
“I should probably head back to my room.”
Alec grabbed my arm and tugged me against him, his lips descending on mine once more. I became slack against him at once, ready to continue where we’d left off even if we risked getting caught and becoming the laughing stock of the agency.
Alec broke the kiss first, but his eyes reflected reluctance as I noted with satisfaction. “There were voices in the male changing room. We should leave.”
I nodded but stole another kiss. I wanted to know what all of this meant but knew talking would only complicate things right now. I just wanted to enjoy the afterglow of our encounter for a little longer. With a last lingering kiss, I went back to my room.
The sun was rising. Golden beams caught on the piles of toast and dozens of eggs Martha had laid out for her breakfast preparations. I ate my second plate of French toast. One of the things I’d missed most about the FEA was Martha and her cooking. She took care of me and cooked for me the same way Linda had done. The FEA wasn’t a traditional family, but I had come to realize that it was close. Maybe that was enough.
I’d spilled my guts to Martha about my poolside talk with Alec, minus our making out session afterward, and she’d listened patiently. She’d given me the same advice she always did when I talked to her about Alec: everything will fall into place if I could just be patient. Maybe she was actually right. Alec had broken up with Kate. Maybe Alec and I now had a future.
But today was about the past. One last glimpse at a life I’d enjoyed more than I should have.
I finished my last bite of raspberries and put my fork down. Even Martha’s fabulous food couldn’t calm my stomach. What I was about to do was more than just a minor breach of the rules.
“Madison’s funeral is today. Tony asked me to talk to you,” Martha said suddenly.
“Why?” I asked, becoming tense. Had Major found out about my plan? Had Kate gotten a glimpse into my head and seen it? She’s mostly avoided me like I did her, but for a brief moment our gazes had crossed. I didn’t want to consider what else she’d seen.
“He’s worried about you. He noticed that you haven’t put Livingston behind you yet.” She wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “You have to learn to let go.”
“I know.” I nodded solemnly. I didn’t look directly at her, too worried she might see something in my face that would give me away. I had accepted my life, or maybe acceptance wasn’t quite the right word for my feelings. Maybe tolerating was more fitting. I’d never have a family like Madison.
“Sometimes a good-bye from afar is enough.” She kissed my temple. “You need to release your pain. We want our old Tessa back.”
“I want the old Tessa back, too.”
I pressed my forehead against her shoulder, feeling guilty for not heeding her pleas. But I’d made up my mind and nothing would stop me now.
I hurried back to my room where the clothes Holly had stolen from Summers were waiting for me. I slipped into them and shifted into the image of Summers. Holly had made sure that I wouldn’t run into the real Summers, who was giving Holly a private Variation lesson.
I forced myself to walk through the corridors slowly, despite my fear of running into Major. Some of the tension disappeared from my body once I was finally outside and approaching the airfield. Tanner was polishing his favorite helicopter and straightened when he saw me.
“We need someone to fly Tessa to Livingston. Major and I have decided to let her attend the funeral. Everything should be ready in ten minutes.” Summers’ voice came out strong and certain.