Chemical Romance (Heartstone)

The thing I use to explain away my infatuation.

But then, over time I saw them together. I saw how Willow didn’t need Dr. Blackwood to complete her or fix her; she knew that she was whole on her own, just a little different than the rest of the world. And Dr. Blackwood didn’t use her love to feed into his messiah complex, but he loved her and wanted her for who she was. And my friend made him happy.

And so I got on board.

Renn turns to Violet. “Like you’re any better.” She turns back to us then. “Violet thinks she’s found a match for Brian.”

Brian is Violet’s best friend from high school. And at one time, Brian was crushing hard on Vi, who had no clue about his feelings. Maybe because her own feelings were tied up somewhere else.

In Brian’s dad, no less.

Yeah, pretty scandalous. At least according to the town she lived in. This was the scandal — the fact that she liked her best friend’s dad — that eventually sent her to Heartstone, all broken and traumatized by people’s judgement and censure. Even Brian’s judgement.

She’s doing much better now. Thanks to her time at Heartstone and her own hard work and commitment to working on her mental health. But that’s not the only reason. The other reason is Brian’s dad, Graham Edwards, or Mr. Edwards as we used to call him for the longest time.

Violet used to call him Mr. Edwards too, but now he’s just Graham.

Her Graham.

The man she’s in love with and the man who loves her back.

Despite Brian and all the other hurdles, they got together last year and now she lives in Colorado with him. Which is good because I don’t think I like her town very much, the place that made her miserable for liking a man older than her. The only thing I hate about her living so far away is that we can’t get together as often as we’d like.

But she visits — like now — when she can.

Willow gasps at Renn’s information. “Oh my God, really? Who?”

Violet’s eyes are shining and she’s suppressing a huge grin. She’s always felt bad for not knowing Brian’s feelings and for harboring her crush on his dad without telling him. Even though they’re all okay now — Brian came around — she still feels guilty, and like Willow who sees potential love stories everywhere, Violet sees them for Brian.

“This girl I met in our book club,” she says, her grin breaking free. “She not only has great taste in books, she also loves vintage rock like me.” Violet has a huge crush on music; she always has headphones with her. “Plus, she’s so pretty and nice. She was the first person to talk to me when I joined the stupid club. Ugh. Why do therapists want you to do things you don’t want to do?” she laments, before saying, “But anyway, I think Brian would really like her.”

“Yeah, but she lives in Colorado and Brian’s in California,” Renn reminds her.

Which makes Violet scrunch up her nose a little bit. “I know. I’ve been thinking about it, but Brian comes to visit often and I think he’s thinking about transferring to a college in Colorado. I know Graham would love it if he moved there. So maybe, you know? Maybe this could be it. I’m thinking positive.”

I smile at her in solidarity; it’s hard for us hardcore anxiety warriors to be positive. We’re more the doom and gloom type. “Good. I like that.”

Willow, who, being on the depression spectrum, has a hard time dredging up positivity as well, nods. “If you like her for Brian then I’m sure she’s great. Besides, a little long-distance doesn’t matter.”

Renn looks at all three of us like we’re crazy. “Are you guys serious? Long-distance relationships are the worst.” She turns to Violet. “If you really like this girl, you won’t set her up with Brian. Long-distance is… too painful. It’s the unnecessary drama that no one needs.”

We all sober up quickly. Willow more so than any of us because she was the one who said ‘long-distance.’

We never ever say that word around Renn. Not that she’s in a long-distance relationship, or any relationship at all for that matter, but still.

It’s complicated.

And the name of that complication is Tristan.

Which is also something that we don’t say around her, his name.

Because it only upsets her.

Because she’s in love with him. Not that she’s ever admitted to it, but we can sense it.

We all met him at Heartstone. Like us, he was one of the patients there and we immediately knew that he was interested in her. She has always denied her interest in him though. Even after we all got out.

I’m not really sure what the reason for her denial is.

But we’ve all guessed it to be that Tristan doesn’t live around here.