The Assignment

I nodded. “That makes sense. I just have to figure out how to write her notes that aren’t cheesy.”

“If it’s from your heart, it’s never cheesy. That’s the problem with most men today—they think they need to act tough. But the truth of the matter is, if you don’t express your feelings from time to time, how the hell will she know how you feel? You’re building an insurance policy to make sure she doesn’t ever feel neglected and won’t need to turn to someone else to fulfill her. Writing out your feelings can be the best way to communicate. But you should mail it to arrive when you’re not with her.”

“Why mail?”

“Because it will be a nice surprise and add to the effect. Everyone loves getting nice things in the mail.”

“Alright.” I jotted it down. “That one is definitely a bit more challenging than the foot rub. But I’ll see what I can do.”

He smiled as he placed a piece of orange into his mouth. “Secret three.”

I leaned in. “Give it to me.”

“Grab her suddenly and kiss her when she least expects it. Dip her in a dramatic fashion. That last part is a must.”

“What purpose does that serve?” I reached over for a wedge of his orange.

“It’s an act of spontaneity—shows her how easily you lose control around her, even in the most ordinary of moments. But don’t forget the dip. That’s the romantic part.”

I popped the orange into my mouth. “How the hell did you become such an expert in romance?”

“I had a great father, your great grandad. He was a true romantic. I learned from watching him, and your Nonna reaped the benefits.”

“Okay.” I shook my head and laughed. “Next.”

“Secret four is to put on some music and dance with her. Doesn’t matter if it’s just an ordinary day. We don’t need a special occasion to dance. Put on some Sinatra and go for it.”

I nodded. “Okay. Cheesy but easy.”

“Ready for the last one? It’s the most important.”

“Lay it on me.”

He finished chewing. “Tickle her.”

My eyes widened. “What?”

“I’m telling you.” He chuckled. “Laughter is good for the soul. Tickling can be a physical expression of love. I used to tickle Nonna at least once a week. It would always get her out of any bad mood she was in.”

I squinted skeptically. “I’m not sure about that one.”

“Have you ever seen a bad outcome from making someone laugh uncontrollably? It releases hormones of happiness.”

I sighed. “I’m starting to wonder if you’re setting me up. Some of these things sound ridiculous, particularly this last one.”

He shook his head. “Try all of these, and you’ll be golden.”

• • •

That evening, after my work day wound down, I was surprised to receive a call from Aspyn. She didn’t normally call me during the week.

“Hey, beautiful. To what do I owe this surprise?”

“I just wanted to say hello.”

“Well, hello. I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“I heard you were at Horizons today,” she said. “Sorry I missed you.”

“Yeah. I decided to pay an impromptu visit to Nonno on my lunch break. We had a nice little talk.”

“Does he…know about us?”

“I kind of had to tell him. He guessed something was up. I didn’t deny it. I hope that’s okay with you.”

“Okay, good to know. It’s okay. I didn’t want to play dumb around him if he knew.”

“I don’t think he’ll say anything to you. He knows you’re a private person.” I sighed into the phone. “I can’t believe I have to wait until Friday to see you again.”

She hesitated. “Not necessarily.”

“You’re not pulling that maybe shit again, are you? I can’t make it until Saturday, Aspyn.”

“That’s not what I meant. I was actually wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight. I know it’s last minute, but—”

“Last minute? You think I care about that? As if there’s anything else I’d rather do than come have dinner with you.”

“I’m trying this gluten-free lasagna made with nut cheese. It’s a new recipe. It might come out horrible, but my guess is that Kiki’s not gonna like it, and I’ll have a ton of leftovers.”

“Ah. So, you’re inviting me over to be your human garbage disposal?”

She paused. “No, Troy. I’m inviting you over because I want to see you.”

Loving the sound of that, I shut my eyes. “I want to see you, too.”

“We obviously can’t…you know, because of Kiki, and you can’t stay the night.”

“I get it. That doesn’t matter. I just want to see you.”

“Okay…seven then?”

“What can I bring?”

“Just yourself.”

“Damn. I feel like a kid who just found out he gets to stay up late on a school night. This is a treat.”

She laughed. “See you soon.”

“Okay, beautiful.”

After I hung up the phone, I looked over at Patrick sitting on the couch. His eyes were drowsy, and he looked like he was about to fall asleep.