“Anything else you wanna know? Or is that enough for now?” he asks with a chuckle.
I turn my face away and sigh. The doorway stands empty, and I feel a heaviness in my heart. Usually, when I’ve been in this room with Pater, we were never alone. Eloy or
Vaughn, or sometimes both, would be sitting by the door just to be close enough to me to feel some kind of comfort.
Pater swings his legs off the couch and sits up, moving until he’s right next to me. He drapes an arm around my shoulders and sticks the rock with Eloy’s blood on it into his pocket. I can feel his eyes on me, but I can’t look at him yet. I feel the tears starting to build and I don’t know if they’re from anger at not seeing the boys where they should be, or because I was too fucking stupid not to have figured out his parlor trick sooner.
“Listen, I’m not going to make this harder than it has to be, and you really shouldn’t either. I know this isn’t the life you probably thought you would have, but honestly, Joce, would you have wanted to have it different in any way?” he asks, resting his free hand on my thigh. I look at his hand for a moment, before I turn my eyes toward his.
“No,” I reply quietly.
If it had been different, I never would have spent so many happy years with Eloy and Vaughn after Mama. I remember how often they would argue, and how much she would scream at him for loving someone that wasn’t her. I just never knew it was me until the time came.
“Are you finally willing to work on this with me? We can be happy, you know. We’ll even have a dog soon, and I know how much you’ve always wanted to have one of those,” he says, giving me another gentle squeeze.
“Yes.”
“Good girl,” he says in relief, kissing my cheek. “Everything will work out, you’ll see. For now, why don’t you go get yourself cleaned up, and then I’ll take you and your brother outside for a while, alright?”
“Okay. Thank you, Pater,” I reply quietly as I shrink away from his arm and get to my feet.
“Hold on a second. How many times have I been inside you already? We’re trying to start a family here, and ‘Pater’ won’t do anymore. Not for you. Call me Luke,” he offers, with a debonair smile.
Luke it is, I think with a sigh as I give him a small smile I return, before I walk away and leave him in his soon-to-be-short-lived moment of happiness.
Chapter Twenty-One
I have a few more hours before the sun begins to set, yet I find myself standing in the doorway, wondering where Vaughn is tucked away. He’s not in the darkness; I know this because Pater would never let him go outside alone. Any time the boys have been allowed a moment of fresh air, even with me being present, he would keep a watchful eye on us.
His footsteps have been moving about the house, hollowly echoing through the hallways, and for that reason alone, I know Vaughn is somewhere inside with us.
I run a hand over my face and sigh irritably. This place is not exactly a palatial estate, so why I’m having such trouble figuring out where he is bothers me.
He’s still alive. Half of my heart is still beating, and I know it’s only because wherever he is, he hasn’t been put to rest yet.
Don’t think of things you can’t control. That’s one of Pater’s rules; it’s how he keeps his head above water, and those of us remaining under his thumb.
Leaning against the door frame, I watch the silent property. I don’t know on which side of us the new couple lives, and to be honest, I didn’t know it was possible for anyone to even be alive.
Besides Laura, we hadn’t seen another person since we were kids, because Pater didn’t want to take the chance we’d slip and tell stories of what we’d been subjected to under his roof.
I don’t think I would ever tell anyone, even if do we make it out of here. I know nothing will come of it because the damage has already been done.
Stepping back inside, I close the door and sigh. Is it really damage, though? I can’t say for sure, because there are nights when I’ve been in Pater’s bed that his touch made all the difference in the world to me.
I’m as fucked up as he is; I can accept that now, but what I cannot accept is Vaughn being put through any more than he already has been. He’s brutally murdered his own brother because I selfishly failed in my attempt to save him.
We all have blood on our hands now, and I can’t help but wonder if that’s what Pater had in mind all along. If we’re all equally guilty, turning on him would essentially be turning on ourselves.
Monstrous acts beget monsters, and we’ll both get what we deserve in the end, but not all of us. I won’t allow it. Not while there’s still hope for the boy to regain some sort of normalcy back into his life. He’s only seventeen; he should be able to break away from all this madness if I can just help him escape.
Something tells me I don’t have much time left to formulate a master plan, so I’ll just have to improvise. The only chance I can actually see is when the couple returns with their dog. I’ll have Pater sit with me while we have our interview. I’ll play the part of the happy child, and I’ll see to it that Vaughn can slip away unnoticed.
“Hey Joce?”
Pater’s voice echoing throughout the house puts my plan to rest for the moment as I quickly turn and see that he’s already heading toward me.
“What are you doing?” he asks with a curious smirk.