I raise my eyes toward Vaughn, but he’s too busy shoving forkfuls of food into his face to care or notice.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” Pater says conversationally. “I never did get a chance to thank you for taking care of that little problem your brother left behind, Vaughn.”
Vaughn’s mouth is open and his fork is hovering just in front of him. He glances at Pater, then cuts his eyes toward me frantically. They’re hiding something from me, and Pater doesn’t like it when we keep secrets from each other.
“Didn’t he tell you?” he asks in mock surprise as he cuts a piece of chicken with his fork.
I feel sick. Without even knowing what he’s about to reveal to me, I’ve lost my fucking appetite and my body begins to tremble slightly.
“Tell me what?” I croak uncertainly.
He lets his fork clatter loudly onto his plate as he sits back and takes a sip of his wine. “Well? Are you going to tell her, or am I?”
Vaughn turns his face away from me and Pater chuckles. “I swear, I don’t know how the hell you ended up being my kid with no balls.”
“Tell me what?” I ask again.
“Alright,” Pater says, placing an arm on the table and looking at me. He stops for a moment to take another sip of wine before he makes his revelation. “Remember how I said your mother went out of this world the same way she came in?”
“Yes?”
The world is starting to spin around me. I’m dangerously close to passing out, but it’s the anticipation of what I think he might say that’s making me react so violently.
“Well, your precious Mama? Her name was Laura. You got to meet her. And the blood she went out in? That was Eloy’s; sloppy as fuck, cut himself a couple times doing the deed. But don’t feel bad, you didn’t really miss anything spectacular. The bitch didn’t even put up a fight.”
Clearing his throat, he takes another sip of wine and then continues with his meal. My mother was here, in this very house, not a few days before; she did nothing to save us.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Dinner has officially been over for half an hour, but Pater has insisted on dessert. For himself, not us; we haven’t earned dessert yet, according to him.
“But you will,” he promised us with his sideways grin sitting deviously on his handsome face.
It’s been silent for at least ten minutes while Pater eats his pie, but I’m so numb at the revelation he made to me less than an hour ago that I’ll probably end up staying awake all night anyway.
“Listen, I know you’re all confused and probably pissed off right now,” he finally says, glancing at me. “But Vaughn didn’t really know until he had to go clean up Eloy’s mess. And to be honest Joce, you can’t be angry at me. That waste of a pussy has lived in this neighborhood ever since I kicked her out. She could’ve come over any time she wanted. Well, that’s not entirely true, but if she was as concerned as she fucking acted, then she would have.”
Pater’s words mean nothing to me. I’m too busy glancing at the knife sitting between us. All it would take is a series of quick motions to leave him choking in his own blood. I could slit his throat before he would even have the chance to realize what had happened.
But what if I failed? What if he managed to stop me as soon as I grabbed the knife? Then what? Vaughn would surely pay for another act of failed bravery. And then it would just be Pater and me.
Unless...
“You know Joce, I admire you,” Pater says suddenly. “You’ve got more balls than either of your brothers, always looking for a way to kill me and whatnot, but I thought we agreed we were done with that game?”
My eyes slowly move from the gleaming blade, to the hilt, and then up to Pater. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Vaughn slowly moving for the knife placed between him and Pater, and in that moment, I know it’s a trick.
“Don’t,” I say to him softly.
Pater raises his eyebrows curiously as he turns his attention toward Vaughn, who’s letting go of the knife.
“You kids really like to test my patience, don’t you?” Pater asks with a sigh. “It’s okay. If it were me, I’d try the same thing, but remember something. Without me, you’re both nothing. You’ll be forced out into a world you don’t understand; a world that will reject you before you can even set a foot firmly into it. I’m not the bad guy here. I’m not the one who threw you kids away; I’m the one who’s loved you and cared for you your entire lives. You want someone to hate? Hate your incubator. She gave all three of you up without a fight.”
Vaughn puts his face in his hands and begins to gently cry. He believes Pater, and it’s breaking his heart. He believes there’s nothing better than this life for the both of us, and he can’t accept it like I’ve been trying to.
Pater rolls his eyes at Vaughn before turning his attention back to me. “Tell you what; to prove I’m not such a bad guy, I’ll do something for the both of you. Tonight, I’m going to let you sleep with your brother.”
My stomach turns, because with Pater, the way he says things are rarely as they’re presented. He looks very proud because of his generosity, but I won’t thank him just yet. Not until I fully understand his offer.