“I thought you might be hungry, so I made us something simple.”
“Thank you,” I say to him softly. His smile spreads across his face and I can almost swear I saw him proudly puff his chest out. The smallest amount of praise and Luke feels like he’s done a world of good. He’s an amazing boy and I let him feel like the wonderful young man that he is because he’s worthy of the praise.
He deserves so much more than I can give him, but he seems content to stay inside of these walls with me instead of going out to make any friends.
I fix myself a plate, grab a fork and a couple of napkins before I head back to the living room.
“Mind if I join you?” I ask Luke who nods without glancing in my direction. While I know that I don’t have to ask his permission to do anything in my own home, I like to treat him as an equal.
“It looks nice outside today,” I begin conversationally once I’ve sat down, “wanna go for a walk later?”
“Nah.”
“Honey, you have to learn to take walks every now and then. Go outside, breathe in the fresh air, maybe make some friends?”
He scoffs, “The only friend I need is sitting right across from me. If I want fresh air, I can open a window, and there’s no point in walking anywhere when it all leads back to the same place.”
“And what place is that?” I ask, stabbing a potato wedge with my fork.
“Home.”
I manage a tight smile, not that he’s even looking at me, before I pop the potato wedge into my mouth and begin to chew thoughtfully. There has to be a way to get him out of this house—I don’t want him to turn into a hermit.
“What if I go with you? I can afford to stretch my legs a little bit,” I offer brightly.
Luke slowly raises his eyes from his plate and stares deep into mine. The look he gives me tells me he thinks it’s a trick of some kind, but I’m fresh out of tricks to get him outside of these doors.
“I’m serious,” I reply with a light laugh. “We can go outside and see what the world looks like. Just once, I promise that if you don’t like it, I won’t make you do it again.”
He tears his eyes away from me and cranes his neck to look out of the living room window before he finally sighs and drops his eyes back to his plate again.
“Okay. But only if you go with me.”
“Then it’s settled! Once we’ve finished dinner, I’ll go freshen up and we can go for a little nighttime stroll.”
He nods as he begins to pick at his chicken with his fork and I can’t help but wonder what’s going on inside of his head. Luke seems to be really preoccupied these days, but he’s fiercely private and doesn’t share much with me—no matter how hard I try to get him to tell me things.
We finish our dinner in silence, with a few stolen glances and small smiles at each other. I don’t mind the silence for the most part, it was something I had become used to in the convent, but since no longer being a part of the Church, I long for conversation and noise—something my son isn’t fond of.
It makes me wonder if that’s something he got from his father, because I know in my soul that those traits haven’t come from me.
Once we’re both done and have sat around for a few moments, Luke picks up his plate as well as mine, and disappears into the kitchen. When I hear the sink turn on, I sigh and walk back toward my room to find something comfortable to wear. If this is the one time I can get him outside of these doors, then I’m going to make him walk for as long and as far as I can.
I settle on a pair of loose, black sweatpants, a crimson colored tank top, and a brand-new pair of running sneakers that I’ve kept at the bottom of my closet. I saved them specifically for this oc
casion and I hope my feet don’t blister too soon into our walk.
I walk over to my vanity and find a hair tie, then loop my long, blonde hair back into a loose ponytail and give myself a glance in the mirror before I turn off the light and walk out.
“Are you ready, honey?” I call out as I walk down the hall.
“Yeah,” comes the glum reply. I find my son standing at the other end of the hallway by the front door, arms crossed over his chest, and an unhappy look on his face. “Let’s get this over with,” he says, pulling the door open and stepping aside to let me through.
It’s a lovely, brisk night in Sandpoint and I almost immediately regret wearing a tank top, but I know that if I go inside to change, Luke will say that we went outside and that our trip is over, so I bite my lower lip as I loop an arm through his and begin to lead him away from our home.
“Do you wanna go to the Byway?” I ask him cheerfully. “I’m sure if we hang out there long enough we might be able to see the Northern Lights.”
He shrugs but doesn’t veto my idea. Unfortunately, because I don’t want to push him too hard right now, I drop the subject and continue to walk with him in silence.