Hollis considers this as he takes another bite of his burger.
We eat in comfortable silence, both of us getting used to the energy of the other. It’s a bit disarming how easy it is to be around him, and a part of me wonders if that’s just our sibling dynamic. Whatever it is, I’m thankful.
“Oh,” I say, patting my mouth with a napkin. “I got evicted today.”
His head whips to mine. “Really? Do you need a place to stay? Do you need money?”
“No. No, no, no. Nothing like that. I paid my rent to my friend, but she did not pay the landlord. It’s a huge mess. All I know is that I had to move out today or …” I think of the landlord’s threats. “I had to move out today.”
“Are you sure? Because Larissa and I have two extra bedrooms, and we’d love to have you stay with us. It would give me someone to shoot the shit with when she’s out shopping for organic vegetables.”
I wink at him. “That sounds fun.”
“Harlee—I mean, Paige.” He winces. “I’m sorry. That’s still a hard one for me.”
I take a deep breath and look at him. No one has called me Harlee in forever—just Hollis when we met a few weeks ago in The Gold Room. That was before he knew that I go by Paige now.
“It’s fine,” I say. “You can call me whatever you want.”
“Can I ask you a question about that?”
“Sure.”
“Why did you change it? Or did your parents change it without asking you?” He frowns. “Am I asking too many questions?”
“No, of course not. Mom asked when we were going through the adoption process because I, uh, didn’t really like my name. I mean, what kid doesn’t want to change their name?”
I laugh like it’s no big deal. Hollis sees right through my bullshit but lets it go.
“Right,” he says, nodding. “Makes sense.”
“Yeah. So I asked if I could change it. Paige was the name of Dad’s mom—you know, The Patron Saint of Sunshine.”
Hollis laughs.
“And I thought it was a nice name.” And that they might love me more if I was named after someone they love. “But back to needing a place to stay. I don’t. I have it covered. I’m staying with my boss, Nate.”
“Nate Hughes? From The Gold Room?”
“Yup.” The p pops as it falls from my lips. “I’m gonna stay there until I find a place.”
Hollis forces a smile. “You think that’s a good plan?”
“Yeah. I mean, we flirt around, but it’s all fun and games. He’s literally one of my best friends, which is probably why I can flirt with him like I do. It’s safe.”
He narrows his eyes. “So it’s all good?”
“I’m doing it, aren’t I?”
We sit shoulder to shoulder, yet it’s as if a giant crevasse plunges between us.
I’ve always hated having to justify myself to my brothers as if they didn’t believe I was capable of making good decisions on my own. I wonder if Hollis and I would’ve had the same relationship. Would he be the older brother who speaks, and I, as the younger sibling, listens? I think so.
Well, maybe. My other brothers speak, and I don’t really listen to them either.
Hollis finally acquiesces and grins. “Have you always been this headstrong, or is this a new thing?”
“Oh, it’s one of my most consistent traits.” I laugh. “I used to imagine that it was a biological trait. I really clung to that in a weird way.”
“You might be right. Our mom was really hardheaded. That or she was just totally negligent.”
My heart clenches. “Well, being that she was cooking meth in our basement, maybe a little of both.”
“You’re probably right.” He taps his fingers against the counter. “Do you remember sleeping with that big dog we had?”
“I do. I have this weird memory of a black dog between us and being cold. I remember lying in bed and watching our breath billow into the air.”
“You know, I still can’t be cold when I sleep. It drives Larissa nuts. I need it to practically be a sauna, or I just lay there in a pit of anxiety.”
My eyes go wide. “Me too!”
He smiles. “Riss grew up very differently than we did. I have a hard time talking to her about some of the wild shit we experienced because she could never get it. I swear she thinks I’m making some of this up.” He chuckles. “Some of those stories do sound fabricated.”
“I get it.” I lean back in my chair. “When the Carmichaels adopted me, my new life felt like a fairy tale. I mean, they sat down to dinner. They read books at bedtime. There was food in the fridge.”
Hollis nods as if remembering is hard.
“Can I get the two of you anything else?” Gina asks. “More to drink? Dessert?”