Yes.
It’s maddening.
“Do you want to know why I think you do that?” she asks.
No. I just look at her.
“I think,” she says carefully, “that you intentionally go after men who you can’t see a future with. It’s as though you don’t want to risk giving someone your heart—apart from yours truly, of course—so … maybe so they can never truly hurt you? I don’t know. Just guessing.”
I laugh. “That’s crazy town. Why would I do that? Wouldn’t that be a complete waste of time?”
“Yup. Sure would.”
“You do it too. Why do you do it?”
She looks at me like I’m stupid. “Paige.”
My name as a whole sentence is never good.
“The guys I date aren’t anything like the guys you pluck out of the gutters,” she says. “No, I don’t want Derrick or Tom to be my baby’s daddy, but they never threaten to physically harm me.”
I point at her. “That was just Atticus, and Troy beat the shit out of him for that.”
“Okay, then let’s talk about Bobby and how you walked in on him having an orgy with three college girls.”
I glare at her.
“Do you see what I’m saying?” she asks. “I self-medicate with men. You self-sabotage. We aren’t the same.” She wraps her arm around my shoulder. “I’m not saying I’m better than you because Lord knows that you are much less petty and unreasonable than I am. But I do think you do this to yourself on purpose.”
I want to be mad at her, but what would I be mad for? For telling the truth?
Her arm slips off my shoulders as we approach our cars. I don’t want her parting ways with me and thinking I’m upset. It’ll bother her all night.
“I should’ve just had sex with one of those guys,” I say, bracing myself for her reaction.
“What? How can you say that?”
I grin. “Why do I want to wait and let some guy I actually like—who deserves to take my virginity—ruin the experience? I should’ve ruined it with a loser, so the guy I actually like has a chance to beat that. That would’ve been nice of me.”
“Paige, good grief.” Kinsley laughs. “I love how romantic you are.”
“I’ve read enough on Reddit to know that I should go into a sexual encounter, especially my first, with super-low expectations.”
Kinsley’s laughter gets louder.
“I mean it!” My cheeks flush. “It seems like half of the population has wild, graphic, she’s getting choked, and he’s … you get the picture. And the other half is highly unsatisfied.”
I cross my arms, proud of my research.
“At least you’re informed, I guess,” she says with a laugh.
I wink at her, letting her know I’m just kidding. Kind of.
“I have to get home,” she says. “Maintenance is sending someone out this evening to check my vents because they’re not blowing any air. They keep telling me I have them closed, but I don’t. I’m not an idiot.”
I smile at her. “Have fun. Call me if you need my help. I don’t have a ladder, but I have a right cross.” I swing it in the air and laugh. “I learned this from Ryder.”
“You are getting so weird.”
“Bye. Be safe.”
“Love ya.”
“Love ya too, Kins.”
I climb into my car and lock the doors. But before I start the car and pull away, I grab my phone. There’s one unread text.
Mom: Maddox bought a 50 lb bag of birdseed. Why?
I snort.
Me: I have no idea. Did you ask him?
Mom: He gave me a bullshit answer about saving ducks.
Me: There are things in life you’re better off not knowing, Mom.
Mom: *grimacing emoji*
Me: Just finished looking for apartments. They all sucked. Trying again tomorrow.
Mom: How many did you look at?
Before I can answer her, another text comes through.
Maddox: You little tattletale.
Me: 50 lb bag of birdseed? Do I want to know?
Maddox: It’s probably better that you don’t. If Foxx brings this up, DEFLECT AND DENY.
Me: *laughing emoji*
I flip back to my chat with Mom.
Me: Four, I think. But I’m pulling out of the parking lot and no texting and driving.”
Mom: Love you. Bye. Don’t text back until you’re home.
I toss my phone in the cup holder and start the car.
My heart beats more rhythmically than it has in a while. I smile at my reflection in the rearview mirror and take off toward Nate’s—the one guy I’ve ever liked that’s not my type.
I wonder what that means.
Maybe that you know if you ever gave him your heart, he could hurt you.
TEN
PAIGE
“Girls don’t know anything about cars.” Ryder’s voice echoes through the house. “They can’t be mechanics.”
“Dude. Stop it. Girls know things about cars.”
“Have you ever seen a girl mechanic? Because I haven’t.”
“You’re seven,” Nate says. “How many mechanics do you know?”
“On YouTube, there’s not any.”
“How are you watching car stuff on YouTube? Give me your device, and let me check your parental controls.”