Sweet (Landry Family 6)

My stomach drops. I slip inside and shut the door softly behind me.

What the hell am I doing?

I struggle to breathe as I see—rings. Why are there rings on Nate’s computer?

The website is a popular jeweler in Georgia. I’ve seen their commercials a million times. And the ring on the screen? Stunning.

“What the hell?” I sit in the chair and stare at the screen. An ad banner flashes at the bottom of the screen.

The key to a happy marriage is buying her beautiful jewelry!

I lean in as if I can’t actually see what’s on the screen. Like I can’t read what’s happening. The ring on display is billed as an investment in your happily ever after.

“No,” I say, not believing what I’m seeing. “That’s not … No.”

I hit the back button. And again. More rings pop up.

“He was sitting here looking at rings?”

It’s as if everything inside me pauses—like it takes one giant breath and stills.

Nate’s looking at engagement rings?

It doesn’t make sense. I’ve been super clear about my intentions.

Take it slow. Forever scares me. I have issues I need to work out. I’ve said it all to him, multiple times, in various forms. And he’s looking at rings?

A part of me is happy that Nate would want to marry me. But the rest of me …

Things have been good. Very good. It’s been the best part of my life, bar none. But the thought of that kind of commitment paralyzes me.

My head spins, feeling the impending conversation that we’ll have to have. How do I pretend I didn’t see this?

What do I do if he has the ring? Is that why he’s not here? Did he go buy it?

Oh, God …

I can’t be a wife to someone. I can’t create a life with Nate. Hell, I’m just figuring out what I want to do with mine. Maybe. How can I be expected, be trusted, to hold up half of a marriage?

The more I think about it, the faster the room spins.

What happens if forever isn’t real? What does it look like if things don’t work out?

My heart pounds.

Ryder.

“You have to stay here forever because I love you, Paige Stage. All right? More than I love the Camaro, and that’s a lot.”

Tears pool in my eyes as my insides twist so hard I struggle to breathe. What am I doing by staying at Nate’s house?

My hands go to my head, sliding down to cover my face. This can’t be happening right now. Not when things were going so well.

But that’s the way of the world. When things are going well, there’s only one way it can go. Bad.

I stand, needing to move. Maybe if I move enough, this won’t be real.

Ryder’s sweet face pops up in my head. His sticky hands and goofy smile. The freckles scattered across his nose.

The way he holds his hands up when he’s pretending to box like Uncle Dom and how his eyes light up when someone mentions Camilla Vanilla.

The tears that have been threatening to fall break free. They cascade down my cheeks and onto my shirt.

Nate has worked so hard to create a great life for him and his son. The only thing I can do is upset the balance … eventually.

How can I be a mother to Ryder when I work part-time at a bar, and I’m still going to college? Hell, I’m not much better than a teenager.

“I’ve run around. I’ve dated. I’ve done all of it, and Ryder is seven now and impacted by all of that shit. And, quite frankly, I’m tired. I just want to settle down and maybe have another kid or two and build something together.”

Nate was right. He’s always right. Ryder is impacted by his dad’s decisions.

I squeeze my eyes closed and see Marcie.

“A honeymoon phase in a relationship … It’s fun at first …”

I look over my shoulder at the ring.

“You can forget all the consequences that are coming because it feels so good at the moment. All the boundaries you’ve set up, your ability to reason and use logic—it all goes out the door. And then one day you wake up, and the honeymoon is over … and you owe someone a lot of money.”

A shiver rolls down my spine as my heart cracks into two jagged, chest-slicing pieces.

“I have to get out of here.”

There are too many voices competing inside my head. I can’t … Why did Marcie have to show me the truth of what I’m capable of? Or rather … what I’m not capable of.

Because it was the truth. And the absolute truth sucks.

I close the door behind me.

TWENTY-NINE

PAIGE

I knock on the door.

The sun is hidden behind thick, gray clouds, and the irony is not lost on me.

I knock again.

Finally, when I turn to leave, the door opens.

“Paige?”

I was holding it together pretty well—I’d stopped crying on my way over. But as soon as I see Hollis, I break down in tears.