“What are you talking about?” She won’t look at me and I swear I must have misheard her. There’s no fucking way she just said that to me. I bounce back and forth from being confused, to pissed, to what might just be hurt. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”
“You heard me,” she whispers.
I run my hands through my hair. “Why do we need to take a step back? What the hell does that even mean?”
She looks at the doorway. “It just means I don’t want to get to a point where I’m dependent on you or need you when I’m feeling crummy.”
“You’re fucking joking, right?” I repeat. My mind buzzes with a million thoughts, a thousand questions, a hundred replies to that. But I can’t get any of them to my tongue.
“When you came in my office today, right after I got my mother’s email, I was so happy to see you. And then you told me to come here, and Landry, I didn’t even hesitate. This is right where I wanted to be.”
“Great. Good. That’s what I was hoping for. That’s how it should be.”
“I know. I think I was too, but,” she says, frowning, “I can’t do this with you.”
“You’ve already done this with me,” I glare.
Her lips press together and I can tell she’s warring with herself. I have to bite my tongue, sit on my hands, because I’m two seconds from losing my temper . . . just like I’m two seconds from losing my girl.
“I disagree with all of this,” I say. “You are my girl, my girlfriend, my lady. I don’t care what you call it, but that’s where we stand.”
She backs away towards the door, her eyes wide. She’s scared. But I can’t let her leave here without knowing exactly how I feel.
“When I saw you so hurt today, it changed the game for me. I knew as soon as I walked in your office that it was a watershed moment. I couldn’t go back.” I stalk through the room until I’m standing in front of her. “I want to see where this goes. I’ve never felt this way about a girl before. Well, no guys either, for that matter.”
Her face slips and she starts to smile. I take it as a good sign.
“I want to lock you down. Be there to make you smile. Make you mad. Make sure you’re protected and know how awesome you are.”
“I’ll still come over and fuck you, Landry.”
She says it to get a rise out of me, to deflect from the topic she doesn’t want to discuss. It’s how she rolls. Instead, I flip it back on her.
“You bet your sweet, round ass you will. And you’ll come over and let me make love to you too.”
She moves down the hall to the front door, thanking me again for being there for her today. I can barely hear her over the roar in my ears. I put my hand on the door, closing it.
“I can’t get wrapped up in you,” she says, looking straight ahead. “I’m going down a rabbit hole and I have to pull myself out.”
“You can’t get wrapped up in me?” I ask, my voice a little louder than I care to admit. “You’ll wrap up in my sheets. In my arms. Around my cock. But you can’t get wrapped up in my heart because I play fucking baseball? Really, Danielle?”
“It’s not like that.”
“It looks just like that standing here.”
She stands on her tiptoes and kisses me gently against the lips. “You are so amazing. Too amazing for your own good,” she smiles. “I just need a little time to work this out in my mind, okay? I’m sorry.”
I don’t respond as she walks out the door.
Danielle
; “YOU’RE KIND OF FREAKING ME out right now.” Pepper stands at the edge of the table and watches me like I might start screaming at any minute. “I’m not sure soup will fix this.”
“I don’t think so,” I sniffle. The napkin has a giant hole in the center from my tears. I toss it to the side and grab another one. “I don’t know what will fix this. Maybe a time machine so I’m not working the day he ventured off that damn elevator.”
Pepper sinks into the booth across from me. “What happened?”