Swear (Landry Family 4)

“You know,” I say, “Mallory is usually a giant pain in the ass. But I woke up today kind of appreciating that little fact about her.”

“I bet you did.” He rocks back on his heels. “Have you given any thought how you are going to go about this? Mal said Ellie wasn’t exactly jumping for joy over this whole thing.”

“It’s all I think about,” I respond honestly. “I’ve spent years wondering what happened to her and wishing I’d handled things differently back then. And now—here she is standing in front of me, looking more beautiful than ever, and you know what? When I look in her eyes, I feel exactly the same way as I did then.”

“Wow.”

“Just don’t let me turn into that,” I crack, motioning towards Lincoln.

Graham laughs. “We need to make a pact. If either one of us breaks that hard, we just throw them in the car and toss them in the sea.”

“Deal.”

We watch Linc lean on his golf club, his phone back in his hand. He’s typing away furiously, his forehead marred with lines.

“This was your first time seeing Ellie in all these years? You never saw her on leave or anything?” Graham asks.

“No. I left and did boot camp and . . .” I remember the feeling of her not answering my calls and then the conversation when she did. “I called her a couple of times and she wasn’t home. Then I did get through to her once and it didn’t go well. She was just so pissed off and hurt, and I just figured she was better off if I let her be,” I shrug. “I heard she went off to college and that was that. I didn’t hear from her again.”

I watch Lincoln stand at the tee and tuck his phone back in his pocket. “I love her, G. I’ve always loved her. When I walked in there and saw her in Halcyon, it was like reality just smacked me in the face and said, ‘Wake up, asshole. This is what you’ve been looking for.’ Does that sound stupid?”

“I get it,” he says softly. “I could never love anyone but Mallory. Not now, not after having with her what I do. Even if something happened and she left me, if I saw her again in ten years, I’d still feel this way. You can’t wipe away what we have or,” he says, lifting a brow, “what you and Ellie have, maybe.”

We exchange a look that only brothers can, a look that doesn’t need words to describe it. He gets it. I’m not crazy, although I certainly feel that way.

We quiet down as Lincoln reaches back and smacks the ball with his club. The ball goes wildly off course, hits a tree, and lands in a sand trap.

“Fuck this game,” Lincoln huffs, marching passed us.

“Lincoln,” I say as Graham pulls his phone from his pocket and answers it. “You need a drink or something?” I follow him to the cart and sit next to him. He looks at me with a somber face.

“Ford, I’m going to be brutally honest with you.”

“Okay.”

He takes a deep breath. “I’m scared shitless.”

“I get that. You’re going to be responsible for another human life, one that’s defenseless and vulnerable. You—”

“Not. Helping,” he groans. “So you don’t think I’m a lunatic?”

“No,” I snicker. “I don’t think you’re a lunatic. You’re going to be a dad, man. That’s a big thing.”

I gaze off across the golf course, the greens of the trees and grasses, the blues of the sky shining back at me. I imagine myself in his situation, waiting to have a child with my wife. Two things are clear: One, it’s the best feeling I’ve ever felt, and two, it’s only Ellie I can see that with.

I force a swallow as my heart squeezes. “You’re on the cusp of having a family. A family. That’s an awesome thing, Linc.”

He doesn’t answer. I give him a few minutes and when he fails to say anything, I finally turn my head to look at him.

“You know what sucks?” he asks.

“What?”

“None of you are having a family too. I always thought our kids would all play together, you know? Like we did growing up. I figured they’d grow up causing havoc, sneaking out together, lying to us to cover for the other,” he chuckles. “And out of the six of us, I’m not sure who the closest is to being next.”

I look at Graham as he paces back and forth near the tee. “My money is on him. Barrett is too busy politician-ing. Speaking of which, has he talked to you about maybe running for the Presidency?”

“Not really. He made quick mention of it, but I think he knows I’m a little preoccupied right now.” He watches Graham grows frustrated over something on his phone. “Can you imagine Graham as a dad? That would be something to see.”