She wasn’t afraid of her parents, but they didn’t exactly fill her with confidence. The last time she saw them, they’d had nothing but bad things to say. Not just about her work but they spoke of Lucy and Jess. The ex of everything in her life.
Talking about her past with Ace and then with Brett had been … revealing. Not just because she’d told them part of her story, but also because of how she felt inside. Losing her daughter or son, whichever one it was, that still hurt. The pain would never go away. Over the years it had simply lessened. Going to her closet, she pushed her clothes to one side, and in the back was a basket. Pulling it out, she carried it to the bed. No matter where she moved, this basket always came with her.
Untying the hooks, she pushed it back and glanced inside. Lifting out the white teddy bear, she stared at it. The feet had the word “Expecting” on them. It was the first Jess had gotten her after she told him.
Looking back now, she should have been able to spot the changes inside him. The fact he didn’t hold her as tightly as he once did, or there was judgment in his eyes as he did so. He’d always been good at keeping secrets. Seeing Jess and Lucy together, she truly believed at the time that there was no way she’d ever be able to get over that pain. She had though.
Jess and Lucy didn’t mean anything to her anymore. They’d done what they had. The only thing she wished was different was that she hadn’t run. That she’d stayed and maybe her baby would still be alive.
Picking up the band that hospitals put around a patient’s wrist, she saw the writing had faded. So much of who she was back then had faded as well. She liked to keep her own company. Jess and Lucy had been the two people who would respect her space, and not force her to conform to what they wanted.
She didn’t think about them now.
This was the first time in a long time she had thought of them and the past. She did think about the baby she’d lost, but it was so random. There wasn’t a gravestone to remember her by. Just the memory of once being pregnant. She didn’t even have the chance to feel her baby move.
Putting everything away, she closed the basket up and put it all back in the closet. It felt good to talk to Brett and Ace about it.
Kids had been part of her plan, and after she lost her baby, she’d vowed to never plan for anything ever again. Her life was her own, to live each day and to make it count.
Leaving her bedroom, she made her way toward the small one where Brett and Ace had repapered, painted, and even laid a new carpet. They’d made light work of what she wanted. Breathing in the fresh air, she opened up the boxes of furniture that had been delivered and began to read through on how to build it.
There was no way it should be that difficult. One hour later, she had assembled a plain white chest of drawers.
“So this is why you were so secretive,” Brett said, standing in the doorway, his arms folded as he watched her.
She smiled up at him, twirling the screwdriver in her hand. “I know this is going to sound crazy, but putting this place as a nursery seems really the right thing to do.”
“It looks good. Yellow is a neutral color, right?”
“It is. Yes.” She took a deep breath. “It feels right. Do you ever have that feeling?”
“Sometimes. Isn’t it bad luck to get furniture?”
“The crib and stuff I think. Also clothes. I’m not pregnant or anything.” She got to her feet, brushing some of the dust off her body. She’d clean up in a moment. “You’re home early.” She moved toward him, wrapping her arms around him. “Not that I mind that at all.”
“Good. I wanted to come home. Check on you. You’re not answering your cell.”
“Shoot. I forgot to put it on charge.”
Brett ran his hands down her body, cupping her eyes. She closed her eyes, loving his touch.
“Have you been thinking about me?”
“Maybe just a little.”
“Do I get a little something before Ace gets home?”
“It’s not a competition.”
“I know, but you also have seen how he gets.”
She chuckled. Ace liked to compete for who gave her the most orgasms. It was cute and exhausting, but she loved it. Moving Brett out of the nursery she was creating, she walked him back to her bedroom.
“I guess the biggest question is how much time do you have?” she asked, removing the clip from her hair.
He groaned, running his fingers through her length. Before he could hold her still to kiss her, she sank to her knees before him. Tugging on his zipper, she pulled down his pants, easing out his impressive dick. When she ran her tongue across the tip, they both moaned. She loved it when they couldn’t resist her. The way he touched her, the sounds he made; she was addicted to him.