Swear (Landry Family 4)

“We knew you’d want to know. And maybe we wanted to know too.”

“Of course this is about you,” I laugh. My tone is shaky and hearing that only makes me more anxious. “I don’t know if I can do this, Vi. What would this mean for Halcyon? What would it—”

“One thing at a time. Besides, this isn’t the end of the world if it’s true.”

“Your business partner is going to be a lot less partner-y.”

“Good. I’ll do what I want,” she winks. When I start to object, she laughs. “Ellie, babies are a blessing. Maybe it’s not how you planned it. Maybe it’s going to make some things harder, I’ll give you that. But I’ve never heard a mother say she wishes she didn’t have her child.”

My shoulders slump. “I had so many plans. I really feel like my life was just taking off. And now this?”

I close my eyes and try to find the happy place that Mallory teaches us to find at yoga. My center. My zen. Before I find it, Heath appears at the doorway.

“How are we doing?” he asks.

“Fork it over.” I extend a hand, palm up.

He flashes Violet a look.

“I know you have it so just give it to me,” I order.

With a sneaky grin, he lays a slender box in my hand. It feels like it weighs a ton. The weight of my future lies in this piece of cardboard.

As I ponder whether I really want to do this or not, my phone rings in the living room. Heath goes to get it. When he returns, it’s in his hand. “It’s Ford.”

“It’s like he has ESP or something,” I groan. “Will you answer it? Tell him not to come by here. Make up some reason because I don’t want to see him.”

“He’s going to want to check on you,” Violet chimes in.

“Tell him . . . tell him I have some errands to run today and am leaving in a minute. Tell him I’ll call him later.”

Heath beams, swiping open my phone and walking away. His tone, almost cooing in the line, makes me roll my eyes.

“You’re trusting Heath to talk to Ford?” Violet laughs.

“Only because I’m absolutely sure Ford’s not gay.” I struggle to stand, my knees wobbly. “That’s what got us here, after all.”

She laughs. I don’t.

I look in the mirror. My face is worse than I even imagined. Broken blood vessels in my cheeks from straining, puffy eyes, drained skin.

Violet’s face pops up next to mine. “Want me to stay or go?”

“Go. In the hallway. I’ll tell you when I know something.”

She squeezes my shoulder and disappears, closing the door snugly behind her.

The box feels like a bomb in my hand, ready to go off at any minute and blow up my world, one that I’ve been so careful with. As I open it and read the instructions, basically trying to figure out how many stripes mean what, I try to squash a flurry of eagerness trying to take over.

I think of anything I can except what I’m doing as I pee on the stick. Placing it on the counter while I wash my hands, I don’t look at it. I know that whatever it shows in a few seconds will change my life one way or the other.

After I’ve dried my hands so that not a drop of water remains, flushed the toilet, dried off the counter, and fixed my hair in the mirror, I look.

Two. Pink. Stripes.

The gasp isn’t completely out of my mouth when the door shoves open. I register it. I sense the movement of Vi and Heath coming in, but I don’t move. I just stare at this little piece of plastic in front of me.

“I knew it,” Violet gushes, pulling me in a hug. I don’t hug her back. I don’t even move my arms. I just hold the stick in front of my face and feel the hot tears slowly move down my cheeks.