“Smells good,” I say, managing a smile.
He smiles proudly and pulls out my chair for me. “It’s just biscuits from a can, bacon, eggs, and a bowl of blueberries.”
I try for another smile, hoping to show Coop that I’m grateful for everything. For him. I’m pretty sure it looks like a constipated grimace, though.
“Thank you, Coop. It looks delicious.”
“I’ll believe you when you eat it, at least half.” His tone is patient and kind, and he even manages a sad smile in my direction.
I nod and take my seat, eating a whole biscuit and a few bites of eggs before I know what I have to do. As much as this has been good for me, having Coop here with me around the clock so that I know we’re both safe, I know he can’t stay here in his house all day until the end of time.
“It’s time, Coop,” I say eventually.
His eyes meet mine across the table, and he nods. His arm reaches out to take my hand, but I pull it away before we can touch again.
“Yeah, it is. Past time, I’d say.”
Ouch. I push down my disappointment at his easy agreement and lean forward to continue with what I need to say. “It’s time for me to go.” I don’t want to, but it’s time. Past time.
His brows twitch slightly, and his spine straightens. “Go where?”
“I don’t know yet,” I shrug. “I still need to make a plan, but I promise I’ll figure it out.”
Silence settles between us again, Coop’s gaze still heavy on me. “Are you unhappy with the way I’ve been caring for you? Am I smothering you?”
I smile and shake my head. “No. You’ve been great, Coop. Amazing, in fact. But I can’t keep relying on you. I can’t let you put your life on hold to take care of me.”
If he wanted to, I would let him take care of me forever. But that’s not how life works. “You have a life to get back to.”
“You are my life,” he says, suddenly raising his voice at least twice as loud.
“Sorry,” he says quickly, looking remorseful. Coop still worries about loud sounds turning me into a big weeping mess. He reaches out to me again, and this time, I let him.
“I don’t think you understand what’s going on, so let me tell you, Kelsey.” He gives my hand a squeeze, a look of fury on his ruggedly handsome face.
I nod and motion for him to continue.
“First of all, I’m sorry. For not realizing we—you—were being followed and watched. It’s my job to keep you safe and protected, and I failed you in the worst way imaginable. And for that, Kelsey, I am truly fucking sorry.”
His voice cracks at the end, and my heart cracks right along with it.
I open my mouth to tell Coop it’s not his fault, that there’s nothing to forgive, but he isn’t done. He gives my hand another small squeeze, and I nod for him to continue.
“I’m so fucking sorry about what happened to you, Kelsey.”
His head falls forward, and he grabs both of my hands, bringing them to his lips as if he’s afraid I might fade away.
“I wish more than anything in this whole damn world I could turn back time and stop it all from happening to you. I can’t do that, but I can promise you that every one of those fuckers who hurt you, who even thought about touching you, will pay. Dearly.”
I sigh and feel my shoulders sag in unconscious defeat. “I don’t need revenge, Coop.”
“I do, goddammit! They don’t get to touch my woman without her consent. They don’t get to do…what they did to the woman I love and live for. They just fucking don’t. I’m sorry, Kelsey, so damn sorry if that means you can’t love me back, but I can’t let those fuckers get away with it.”
Every syllable comes from his mouth fierce and choppy. His skin is flushed, and his breath labored.
I have just one thought. He means every word. As that thought starts to sink in, my heart starts to beat faster and faster. “You love me?”
His shoulders fall, and a small hint of a smile curves his lips upward.
“Yeah, Kelsey. Yeah, I love you. I might have loved you from the beginning, but I was too hard-headed to recognize the signs. And you may be too good for a man like me, but I love you. I’m sure I do. We’ll get through this. One day, one step, one breath at a time.”
“Coop.” His name falls from my lips as I begin to cry, quickly blinking away the tears.
“What do you think, Kelsey? Do you think you can love me back? You don’t have to answer right away, but think about it, okay?”
I don’t need to think about it. To write up a list of pros and cons of loving Coop. I know how I feel, and I shake my head.