As much I tried to focus on what would happen after we arrived, it was hard with Corbin beside me—the man in black to my woman in black. He’d rolled his sleeves up, revealing strong, veined forearms that flexed with each controlled movement of the car. I’d almost drooled when he came downstairs with the top two buttons of his shirt undone, just hinting at the hard chest underneath.
I wasn’t sure what it was about Corbin that made me want him so much. I’d analyzed it every way I could imagine over the past week.
Was it because it was forbidden? But we weren’t really related or even knew each other. He was older than me, but nowadays, that was nothing new.
Was it because I had daddy issues?
That one left me squirming away in discomfort. Or maybe just squirming, period, because I didn’t hate it. I’d seen porn once with that specific replaying, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t watched it until the end. So, while that led to some temptation, I wasn’t sure that was the driving force behind my attraction.
I’d considered that maybe I liked that he was unattainable. I could lust after him because he was safe. If I couldn’t have him, then he would never get close enough to leave me. I could keep him at a distance just like I had everyone else in my life.
It wasn’t like I was completely alone.
I’d gone on dates. Just never more than one with the same guy.
I’d slept with people; I just didn’t find it as enjoyable as I thought I should. After feeling so bland and detached each time, I worried it was me—that something was wrong with me and kept me from enjoying sex. So, I dove into the internet, which led to porn, which led to me knowing that I did, in fact, like sex, or the idea of it at least.
Just none of the kind of sex I’d had. I clicked on every category, but I always came back to the same one: BDSM. The ceding control, the rough movements, and the bite of pain. It all called to me in a way that had me desperate for more.
Which led me to the closest possibility as to what had me craving him.
Corbin exuded power.
He controlled everything with ease. He controlled companies, employees, meetings, his home, and everything in between. Surely, he would be equally controlling with sex. Every time his hands deftly moved around anything—even the steering wheel—I imagined them around my hips—my throat. The thoughts raced through my mind.
I’d never met anyone like him. He fascinated me.
So, I teased and played over the last week—enjoying the times I riled him up despite how much he fought it. I enjoyed testing the limits in a way I never had before. I always kept to myself, always followed the rules. I spent years people-watching, figuring out their cues, and learning when to stop before going too far. With Corbin, I saw his cues, but I didn’t stop. I wondered with a man so in control what he’d be like if I could push him over the edge.
Not that I ever pushed that far. I’d only toed the line and dabbled. But in that time, I’d drawn closer to an edge of my own. With each step closer to poke and prod, I realized that I liked him. I realized he could be playful too.
More than a lot of the time, my lacking social skills and awkward humor slipped free. Rather than looking at me like I was crazy, he’d laugh. Sometimes he’d even join in.
It was…unexpected.
It elicited another feeling I didn’t even know where to start with.
So, rather than delve too deep, I went back to focusing on the physical attraction and testing the boundaries.
“We’re here.”
I’d been so lost in thought his deep voice almost had me jumping out of my skin.
“Are you okay?” he asked, pulling around back.
Laying the last brick of confidence, I faced him with a smile. “I’m perfect.”
He studied me for a moment, and I waited for him to call me on my overly bright reply. I took it as my test. If he pushed me, then I knew I needed to raise my guard up—make it stronger. If he didn’t, then I knew I was ready. In one week, Corbin had gotten to know me better than anyone, which wasn’t saying much, but still. If I could pull off the cold businesswoman I’d practiced for years, then I could fool whatever man sat behind my father’s desk.
“Good. Then let’s go.”
I passed. I was ready. Time to take over what was mine.
Corbin opened the wooden double-door for me, and I walked into the entryway with my head held high. I’d been to the club once on a morning before it opened. Looking at the dark woods, black tile floor, and gold accents, I could almost feel my father’s hand in mine all over again. For a second, I let go of the aura I wanted to wrap around me and traded it in for cloaking myself in the memory. Just for a second.