“Why would it worry you?” She knew the answer. Deke was proud, but it wasn’t like they were trying to get married or anything.
They couldn’t if he needed her to make herself small for him to feel good.
“It takes me back to a time when I was nothing more than your dumbass boyfriend,” he admitted with a frown. “You have no idea how often people told me the one smart thing I ever did was get you to go out with me. They were joking, and honestly, it’s probably true, but it bugged me then and it bugs me now. Your boss easily saw my weak spot, and that’s my fault.”
“I never thought that.” Her heart softened because he was being open and honest with her. This was what hadn’t worked for them before. She could remember sitting at dinner with his family and his cousins joking about how he was dating her for her earning potential and how much better she could do. He’d told her it didn’t bother him at all if it didn’t bother her. She’d known he was lying. His honesty felt like intimacy. Real and true intimacy. “I was always told you were far too hot for me.”
He shook his head. “Never. You’re so fucking gorgeous it hurts sometimes to look at you, and you are absolutely the hottest woman I’ve ever seen. No, baby, it’s my insecurity, and I’m working on it. I promise. I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. But I need to admit the feeling so I can process it. Now answer my question. Do you want it at your desk or your couch, because this is happening here and now. You can cry and beg and I’m still going to spank that ass of yours, so you remember what the rules are.”
She was about to argue with him when she realized what she’d really done. He was right. She’d exposed herself and the whole team by following her own lead. Susan in HR was a gossipy busybody, but she’d been the only one around for her to work with. She’d been impatient and hadn’t communicated with the team put into place to handle the situation. If Deke had done this as a worker on her team, she would be pissed. It hadn’t occurred to her that MaeBe could get the same data without anyone knowing.
Beyond that, Deke had been forced to watch her do it with no recourse because she’d stashed her phone in her office. There were some labs where phones weren’t allowed, and it could be easier to store it. Her assistant would be able to find her in the office through the comms systems they used, but Deke wouldn’t have been able to get in touch with her.
He’d been out of control and worried, and this was how he would want to handle those emotions.
If he’d been a different man she would have walked away, but she trusted him. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. At its heart this was all play, and he needed to play the same way she’d needed it the night before. His anxiety was high, and he needed to blow off some steam. Controlling her could calm his beast.
It would also probably lead to a mind-blowing orgasm for her.
“The desk.” She almost never used the couch, and she wanted this memory. She wanted to sit at her desk and remember how Deke had topped her right here, wanted to be able to close her eyes and feel his hands on her.
“Place your hands on the top of the desk, palms down.”
She looked up at him. “Should I take my panties off?”
His hand came up and she could already see a measure of his tension fleeing. “Baby, if I want them off you, I’ll tear them off myself. Mind me.”
She turned and walked to her desk. Her blinds were open but the floor-to-ceiling windows were tinted, so no one could see in. She faced the window, the afternoon light still glowing and the freeway in the distance. Placing her palms flat on the top of the desk, Maddie breathed in and tried to find that place she’d started to enjoy. Her subspace.
Cool air slid over her skin as he flipped her skirt up. “You need to understand that the most important thing to me about this op is you coming out of it healthy and whole.”
“I didn’t think I was in any danger.”
A hard slap smacked against her ass. She gasped at the pain, but the heat that lingered was pure pleasure. The man knew what he was doing. This wasn’t an act of violence or punishment. The way he did it, it was a way to connect, to communicate in their own unique way.
“But you were in danger, and we’ve talked about this. You brought me in to handle this situation for you, and you agreed to my rules. What’s my number one rule, baby?”