“Fuck.” He grimaced but didn’t leave his position. “Then it’s more important than ever to get into Byrne’s system tomorrow night. Underwear, now.”
And that was all the business talk she was likely to get. She shimmied out of her undies and was surprised to find she no longer had any self-consciousness when it came to being naked around him. It felt right. She also didn’t mind being naked in a room with obvious torture tools. The privacy room had a bed, but it also had several benches that weren’t strictly for sitting and a giant X on the wall opposite her.
Kink, it turned out, was good for a girl’s confidence. Already the awful tension she’d felt was coming loose. She would have to face it, but not for the next hour. The next hour was all about pleasing Deke and letting him please her, too. “So I tell you my boss is probably going to try to kill the president and start a new world order and you just want me naked.”
He moved into her space, capturing her wrists. “I want you naked and vulnerable and with no way to run from me. I want you all to myself so I can say a few things I should have been smart enough to say all along. I’ll deal with presidential assassination plots later on.”
It might be good to give them some closure on that part of their lives. Then they could figure out what they would be after all this was over. Long-distance lovers or maybe friends who hooked up when they could. Or maybe they would move on again and wish each other all the best with no regrets this time.
Except she thought she would always regret not having him in her life.
“I don’t think saying it will change anything.” She knew what he wanted. He wanted to make his point about why he’d broken up with her all those years ago. He wanted her to agree with him that it had been for the best. He wanted absolution for leaving her. She wasn’t sure she could give it. It wasn’t kind of her, but it still hurt that he insisted it had been for the best.
“I think it will. I hope the truth will help,” he said as he pulled a length of rope from his pockets and started to wind it around her wrists. He bound her tight, though it wasn’t uncomfortable, just enough to know he was in control.
He picked her up and carried her across the room, setting her on her feet before reaching up and pulling something down. She heard something snap into place, and Deke gently guided her wrists over her head to the hook above.
There was a table to her left, and she noticed Deke seemed to have set out a whole bunch of items—some she recognized and some she didn’t.
The hook was slightly too high for her, and she had to go up on her toes. The stance elongated her body, stretching her. This was what Deke needed? “We couldn’t have had this talk at home? It’s my home. I could have kicked everyone out.”
“At your ridiculously expensive home? The one I could never afford?” Deke ran a big palm down her back to cup her ass.
The words caught her completely off guard, and she felt a flush race across her skin. “No one asked you to afford it.”
“No,” he agreed as she felt him move behind her. She shivered as he kissed the nape of her neck. “They didn’t. Or rather you didn’t. You don’t need me to be anyone but who I am. You don’t care that I never could have bought you these things.”
Tears pierced her eyes. Were they actually going to talk about this? She’d been sure this was some bullshit gambit to make Deke feel better about leaving her. “No. I never needed more from you than you were willing to give.”
“That’s not true. I remember a time when you absolutely needed more than I could give. I think you need more than I was willing to give now, too. But maybe what I’m willing to give needs to equal what you need, and damn my pride. Maybe I’ve decided that my pride isn’t worth losing your love. Not even close.” His hands stroked her, brushing across her like a wave of warmth. “I thought we could pick up where we left off, but we never dealt with it. I never dealt with why I really pushed you away.”
Oh, this was so much more dangerous than what she’d expected. She tested the bonds, a little impulse to run coming over her. She wasn’t sure she was ready for this. “It doesn’t matter now.”
Yep, he’d tied her up so she couldn’t run like the coward she was. Now that she was confronted with it, she wasn’t sure she wanted to have this conversation. It would mean she would truly have a decision to make. “Deke, we’re not going to solve our problems tonight. I don’t know that our problems are solvable. I’ve thought about this a lot and I’m not sure I can give you what you need, either.”