Damaged Queen (Darkness Within Duet 2)

One day she’d have to leave him. She knew that.

There’s no way she could be with him for a long time, simply because he should be with someone who loved him back.

Harper wasn’t that person. Deep down inside, she loved another and was broken inside, damaged, and Ethan couldn’t repair that.

****

The weekend at his parents’ house was as perfect as Harper expected. They were loving, and after forty years of marriage, the love still sparkled between them. She couldn’t help but watch them together, remembering her own parents before her mother killed herself, or at least before Ian decided to leave.

“So, Harper, you two look so amazing together,” his mother said.

She rested her head against Ethan’s chest. “Thank you. That was a really wonderful chicken.”

“Oh, I know how to roast a good chicken. Don’t you worry, I’ll teach you how. I like to make sure our boys are well-fed.”

“Yeah, Harper, you’re going to have to go through the cooking course that we all did.” This came from Fran, who’d married the youngest son.

Harper had no interest at all in being taught how to cook.

“My mom’s not that bad,” Ethan said, wrapping an arm around her.

“You live in a beautiful area. Would it be okay if I go for a walk? I don’t mean to be rude.”

“No, no, of course not. You and Ethan go and have some time together. I’ll prepare a light snack for when you get back.”

His mother was always feeding them.

Grabbing a jacket, she pulled on some gloves, and Ethan wasn’t too far behind. Not what she had in mind, but she couldn’t exactly complain.

“I’m sorry about my parents,” Ethan said.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“They like you though. I know they want to adopt you. After everything that happened with your parents.”

Since Alan had pushed her out of Stonewall with no chance of ever going back there, her parental story had changed. Both of her parents had “died in a car crash.” It was a sad event but one she’d moved on from. Yes, there were times she missed them, but she couldn’t bring them back. There was no point in going to a town that only held bad memories, or at least that’s what she told Ethan.

“It’s fine. They don’t need to adopt me.” She smiled.

Ethan took her hand, and rather than getting the fresh air she felt she needed, instead she felt that crushing weight of expectation. She’d noticed the coy looks his family were giving him. They were all waiting for him to do or say something, and she didn’t know why it scared her. Something was going to happen, and the more time she spent with him, the bigger the chance of him asking her or saying something. It would be easier for her to be cruel to him, but again, she didn’t have anywhere else to live, and she had moved in with him to make life easier.

“It’s getting cold.”

“That it certainly is. If you think all that food is a big deal, you should wait for Thanksgiving.”

“You dish up a feast?”

“That we do.”

She’d gotten out of the last couple of Thanksgivings due to “other commitments.” Living together, well, she hadn’t thought about how to get out of it this year.

“You have a wonderful family.”

It was true. Ethan was wonderful. His family was too. Everyone and everything were great.

She was the problem.

They stopped near a field. The entire ground was covered in amber and fire-red leaves. The scene looked so beautiful. It hadn’t been dirtied up yet by the rain.

“Actually, there’s something I really want to ask you. I know we’re going through a bit of a rough patch right now, and I’m not even going to pretend that I understand it. I don’t. I mean, I thought we were in a really great place.”

“Ethan, we are. I’m sorry. I’m just. It’s around that time. You know, it’s hard.” Again, the guilt weighed her down. She only hoped it was the same time that she’d said her parents died.

She couldn’t go back, and with her constantly looking in the past, she’d stopped herself from going forward.

“I get it. I do. I … I love you, Harper. I love you more than anything I’ve ever loved in this world. When I look at the future, I see you. I see us together.”

“Ethan?”

“Let me finish. I want you to marry me. It’s what my parents would love as well. They know I wanted to ask you this weekend. It’s why I brought you up here. We’re out in the country, and it’s beautiful. This scene beats that of the smelly city any day of the week. One day, I want to come back here. Start a family. I want it to be with you. I know I can make you happy, and that’s why I’m hoping that you’ll consider me. I hope you’ll say yes.”