“Such a man whore.”
“Yet, here you are … taking me to your place for the night.”
“Not to have sex.” I lock up my bike and continue to the stairs.
“Whoa. Whoa. Whoa …” He grabs my hand to stop me.
I let him turn me toward him just before the stairway door. “Whoa what?”
“I’m not here to cuddle.”
“I can’t have sex with you.”
He laughs, sliding his arms around my waist. “And why not? Is it that time of the month? I’m good with shower sex.”
Nibbling at the corner of my bottom lip, I shake my head.
“No? Then what?” He cants his head.
“I’d rather not say.” I escape his embrace and jog up the stairs with him right behind me.
“Vague is not your MO. What’s going on?”
Before I can answer, Eric’s door opens. He fills the space with his shirtless torso and his usual sexy jeans—freshly showered hair. It’s weird that a guy who owns a shirt shop wears one so infrequently. Was he watching for me?
“Hey.” My mouth tries to find a casual smile where my lips don’t quiver as much as my voice. Total fail.
“Hi.” Eric’s gaze goes straight to Carson.
“Sorry …” I settle for the fake, awkward, totally nervous grin. “Um … Eric, Carson. Carson, Eric.”
No handshakes are swapped, just two men sizing each other up. It’s like they both know I’ve had sex with the other one.
“You staying?”
Wow. Just … wow. Gotta hand it to Eric. He wastes no time getting right to the point—not that who I sleep with is a point or any of his business for that matter.
“Why should you care?” Carson rests his hand on the small of my back.
Eric ignores the possessive move on Carson’s part, keeping his gaze locked to mine. “We had sex in the bathroom of the bouldering gym about seven hours ago. No condom. I’m just saying … proceed with caution. You don’t know where my dick has been. Have a good night.” He takes a step back.
The door shuts like a gavel after a final ruling: my life sucks.
Kill me now.
Carson steps in front of me, forcing me to acknowledge him—to answer the question before he asks it. I don’t need to answer it. The truth blooms in my cheeks and wrinkles my entire face as a permanent cringe.
“Now I know why we’re not having sex tonight.” He shakes his head before rolling his eyes to the ceiling. A long, heavy breath shoots out his nose as he bites his lips together.
“I …” I rub my temples. “I can’t believe he just said that.”
“Well …” Carson grunts, returning his attention to me. “It’s definitely the thing to say when you don’t want some other guy fucking your girl.”
“I’m not his girl.”
Biting the inside of his cheek while studying me in silence for a few seconds, he shakes his head slowly. “I’ve known you for years. We’ve had sex countless times. I know you’re on the pill. You know I get tested regularly. Yet … you’ve never even considered letting me stick my dick in you without a condom.” Bending forward, he kisses my cheek and slides his mouth to my ear. “You’re definitely his girl,” he whispers. His declaration makes the hair along my neck shoot up and my pulse surge.
My defenses send my thoughts into a frenzy. I’m not Eric’s anything. I’m just … I’m …
Closing my eyes, because I don’t know what I am at the moment, I wait to no longer feel Carson’s touch. I wait for his steps to fade, the door to the stairway to shut, and my anger to find the correct target.
My hands curl into fists, desperate to bang down Eric’s door. All these words no longer want to be muted, suppressed, and ignored. My insecurities win, guiding me to my door instead of his. As I open my door, I hear the faintest noise behind me.
It’s him. I don’t have to turn around. I just know.
“I like you. A lot.”
I nod slowly. “Well, that’s a relief. I’d be really pissed off if you felt the need to trample my evening by confessing intimate details without really liking me first.” I turn.
“What do I need to do to make you not want to bring other guys home? Flowers with the petals still on the stems?”
I tell my lips to stay neutral. He hasn’t earned a grin, but damn … it’s hard.
“A journal of all the thoughts I have about you in a day?”
That one hits me in the feels.
“A night of cuddling instead of sex?”
My gaze drops to the floor between us.
“Old school? Do you want me to formally ask you to be my girlfriend?”
My head inches side to side.
“If I kiss you again, will you push me away?”
“Don’t kiss me,” I whisper, feeling …
Feelings …
I have these crazy strong feelings for him. I’m strongly attracted to him. I’m angry as hell at him … even when I’m clawing at his skin, desperate to feel him inside of me. It’s so messed up.