As I watch him, my lower belly feels warm and tingly, and I know I need to stop. I have to pull my gaze away, and I certainly have to pull my foot away, too.
I do neither.
Instead, from where I’m sitting across from him, I think about what he must have done in the bathroom. How good it must have felt. The relief he must have received. And the fact that he, without a doubt, thought about me while doing it.
He must feel my stare because he lifts his gaze from his phone and catches me studying him. Now my cheeks really burn. They’re on fire.
I move my foot fast.
But not before he realized what was happening. The man who doesn’t smile, doesn’t joke, and barely has a sense of humor is grinning like a Cheshire cat.
What the hell?
Of course, I had to make it obvious that I’m attracted to the damn man.
The way he’s looking at me right now isn’t helping. Tobias looks at me as though he’s seeing me for the first time.
Normally, he looks at me with disdain—as if he’s angry with me—which makes no sense. But it’s how I feel whenever our gazes lock. There are always lines present on his brow. It’s like he’s studying my reaction to him and hating my reaction at the same time. But this time is different.
His gaze is trained on my face, but he’s not looking into my eyes. He’s staring at my lips. Out of habit, I nibble on my lower one. He swallows and then looks into my eyes. There is a hazy look in his gaze like he’s lost in a dream.
He stares at me for too long, and I almost shrink under the scrutiny. If he was looking at me with hate, I probably would. But this time, it’s hunger that oozes from him, and it makes me want to sit up straighter for him to see all of me.
He coughs and straightens his back, severing the moment. Now when he looks at me, there is no haze, only clarity, and the angry snarl is back. Wherever he went in his brain, he didn’t hate me, but now he does again.
“Go,” he commands in a voice far harder than I have ever heard him use. This is the drug dealer, the man who people fear, and I can understand why. He’s scary.
“Really?” I keep my voice level, hoping not to let my feelings betray me.
“I said go. We’re done here.”
19
Tobias
I had to get her out of here as fast as I fucking could.
Another minute with her and all my fucking walls would have come down.
The woman is fucking Kryptonite to me.
I hate that I want to fuck her. I hate that she wants to fuck me, too. And she does. I can see it each time she’s near. Every time she gravitates toward me, inching closer without even realizing it.
It’s her eyes. The way she looks at me.
She’s the only person who looks at me like that. As if she can see the person I was. The person I was supposed to be if my life hadn’t gone to shit, and I never had to become this person I am today.
For a moment, when she was staring at me, I thought she remembered, but then I realized it was wishful fucking thinking, and I kicked her the fuck out.
It would be easier if she could just remember we met before.
Then I wouldn’t have to act like a little bitch because my goddamn pride is hurt.
Letting out a breath, I stand from my chair and start to pace the room. What am I going to do about this girl?
It feels like the room is getting smaller. The collar of my shirt feels tight.
I need air.
Without a second thought, I’m crossing the space and heading toward the stairs up to the roof.
It’s the only place I can think.
Only when I can see the sky does my pulse calm.
All these years later and nothing has changed.
Ironic really.
All of this shit.
My feet take the steps two at a time until I’m pushing open the glass door and making my way outside.
Warm air slaps my face, but that’s not enough to calm me.
Tilting my chin up, I stare up into the sky.
Despite the perfect weather, a canopy of clouds is above my head. I stare at them for a bit, and as I do, my pulse regulates, and I feel myself calming almost instantly. Looking up and seeing the vastness above is enough to make me no longer feel like I’m suffocating.
Time has no meaning when I’m out here.
I let everything go and am finally able to think.
The only problem with thinking is that I think about her.
I hear the door open, and I pull my gaze from the sky and look out into the horizon. I don’t need to see Gideon to know he’s striding toward me.