Today is about my father.
About the man who loved me enough to make sure I was always okay. To make sure I smiled. To make sure I was cared for. I will not let anyone take that away, especially not today.
Pulling my gaze away, I lock eyes with Tobias, who looks as if to say, “I love you, and you can do this.” I smile at him and then pull the paper out.
I look around the room and feel the tightness in my throat as I realize that this is my father’s last day before he’s buried. I try to smile. “I want to thank you all for coming out and for showing my dad so much love and support all these years.” I pause, clearing my throat to continue. “My dad was an amazing man, a hard worker, and a man of integrity.” The tears begin to fall down my cheeks.
“It is with a heavy heart that I am here to honor my father. He served as a soldier, then a police officer, and later, a detective. For over twenty years, he has been a pillar of the community. He was my father, not by blood but by love. He had a great sense of humor and always had a smile on his face. His death is tragic. It is hard to describe how much he will be missed. When I was six years old, my dad saved me. Like the hero he was, he found me and saved me.
“He was the only family I had from that time on . . . When I was sixteen, my dad took me for my first driving lesson. He made sure I always had toast and jam before bed, and he always did my math with me. When things were tough, he still managed to put me through college, and most importantly, he gave me a home. He always tried to do the right thing and help others. I can’t say that he always succeeded, but he did his best.
“My father’s death came too soon. I wasn’t ready. But even if I had years to prepare, I’d never be prepared to lose him. He was the most important person in the world to me. His love and support got me through difficult times. We shared many memories together. He was the only person who knew how to make me feel better when I was upset. Dad, you will always be with me. Thank you. Thank you for saving me.”
When I’m done speaking, I turn behind me and look at his face in the casket. I place a kiss on my finger and then touch the center of his shirt over his heart. Tears stream down my face, and then I feel his presence as if it was that day when he pulled me from the darkness and showed me the light. I love you, Dad. I turn back and make my way back down the steps. One by one, his friends and colleagues come to me. They hug me and tell me their own stories about what a wonderful man he was and about how he touched all their lives. And I know without a measure of a doubt, his presence will never leave. He will always be with me.
54
Skye
I sit on the couch. I can’t cry anymore, but every time I think I’m done, the tears start again. Despite everything my dad did wrong, he did right by me.
From across the room, Tobias whispers to Gideon, but I’m not prepared to think about my father’s last words. I need to grieve still. Feel the pain. Yet again, I’m alone in this world.
No. That’s not true. I have Tobias. He has always been with me. Our gazes meet from across the space, and before I know it, his mouth stops moving, and he is walking over to me and sitting down. It’s like he can hear my every thought.
“It’s okay,” he says as his arm wraps around my shoulders.
“How did you know?”
Tobias inclines his head, then raises his brow at me. I lean into him.
“I miss him so much.” I try to stop the tears, but they just keep coming. “He might not have been perfect, but he was my dad, and I loved him.”
Tobias lets me cry. Holding me close, he strokes my back and places kisses on my temple. “He was, and he loved you, too. He’s always with you, Skye.”
“He was my whole life. He was all I had.”
He pulls away and looks at my face.
“Always,” he says softly. “I’ll be here for you.”
We spend the rest of the day in Tobias’s house. He takes care of me. Holds me. He is everything I need.
I toss and turn all night, barely able to get more than a few minutes of sleep at a time. My brain is constantly trying to understand what happened all those years ago.