He rolled his eyes. “Not like that.”
“Then what did you think about?”
Draven stared into her blue eyes. “I’m only going to tell you this because I know you won’t remember it come the morning.”
“That’s the whole point, right? To not remember it. To completely forget about everything and anything,” she said.
“I thought about running with you. I wanted to find you, and at first, I didn’t want to bring you back. I wanted to find you, stay with you, and never look back.”
“That’s nice.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“But we can’t do that, can we? We can’t pretend that it didn’t happen. You never came looking for me, and in turn, I stayed alone, hoping for you.”
“What were you hoping for?”
“That you’d know the truth. I’d hoped your father didn’t have the hold on you that he seemed to have on everyone else, including me. He said jump and everyone always turned around and said, how high. They never considered asking why? Or if he’d jump first. I don’t know. I never liked your father. He gave me the creeps. Still does and I hope someone in hell has the luxury of pissing and shitting on him and beating the shit out of him. Ha. Yep, I’m getting the buzz.”
He smiled. “I really did miss you.”
She turned her head. “I fell in love with you, Draven, all those years ago. So long now. I mean, I’m twenty-eight years old. Not a lot by any means but enough to make me … feel it. Did you look for me all the time?”
“My father was in charge of keeping an eye on you. His men gave us updates on what you were doing and who you were doing it with. You were not my responsibility. Dealing with the war, I was needed here, not chasing after a girl who’d betrayed me. Then I had to deal with taking over. Jett was the last of us to ever go looking for you. I still don’t know why he decided to, especially when we all knew you were gone and why.”
“I wasn’t hiding from you, Draven.”
“We’re not doing this now.”
“But—”
“No buts. I’ve told you, Alan dealt with you; I had more pressing issues.”
“Then why keep me here? Why not let me go? Why have that bitch whip me, and allow those other … people to see? Don’t you care about me at all?”
“You’re here for my pleasure only. I don’t have to answer to you.”
“You don’t make any sense at all, Draven. You know that. You’re hot and cold, and you drive me crazy.” She ran a hand down her face. “I’m going to have a big motherfucking headache in the morning, and I don’t care.”
He laughed. Sipping at more of the whiskey, he watched her. He’d missed just being able to watch her, to know that she was okay.
Reaching out, he tucked some hair behind her ear, and she sighed, turning toward him. “That’s nice.”
“I fell in love with you back then as well. More than I probably should have.”
She opened her eyes. “Draven, I was with your friends to be with you. I cared about them, but I never loved them. I went through the initiation because I knew it was what you wanted. I sucked Axel’s cock to get information. For me, it has always been you.”
Her eyes started to droop, but he wasn’t ready for her to be done just yet.
“What about Ethan?”
“I didn’t deserve him.”
“Why not?”
“He was a good man that wanted a lot of somethings I couldn’t give him. I couldn’t fall in love with him, or change. He wanted me to be the perfect wife with the kids and the life he wanted, but I couldn’t do it. I’m not like that. I need something more. I was going to marry him, and I knew I’d make his life miserable. You shouldn’t marry a man that even as you have sex with him, you’re thinking about another. It’s the man you’re thinking about that you should be with.”
She fell asleep, the glass falling from her hand.
The liquid spilled to the floor.
He had cleaners for the mess. Sipping at the whiskey, he waited for her to rest against him. He moved up a little closer so she didn’t get a bad neck from her position.
With her leaning against him, he closed his eyes, and let out a sigh. Even now, he wanted her.
Buck and Jett were dead.
The life he wanted was gone. He was carrying on his father’s legacy exactly how he wanted, even though he’d killed the son of a bitch.
Shaking his head, he kept on drinking, hoping that he’d find the oblivion she’d found.
****
There were some things in life Harper knew she never should try to do. Go bungee jumping off a bridge, eat undercooked chicken, and now, drink bottles of whiskey. She didn’t even get down half the bottle.