I shook my head, refusing to let myself get tied up in knots over someone who didn’t feel the same way about me. I had been the one dumped in the last relationship, and I wasn’t allowing that to happen again. Hearing Mark say I was too much for him to handle and he was tired of my free spirit and didn’t love me anymore had almost broken me. It took him saying so to recognize the way he always distanced himself from me in public. I embarrassed him. After he was gone, I realized that I had tried so hard to be the woman I thought he wanted. To stop being me. Never again. I had decided then to only be myself, and if the man I was involved with couldn’t handle it, I would be the one to walk away.
I hadn’t expected to feel this way about Simon so quickly.
I poured a bath, filling it with my favorite floral bubble bath. I got a glass of wine, lit a candle, and sank into the warm, fragrant water. My iPhone played softly in the background, the soothing music helping me to relax.
I pushed out all thoughts of Simon and focused on deep, calming breaths. I let the water soothe, the fragrance soak into my skin, and the warmth chase away the chill I had been feeling since this morning.
Tomorrow, I was going to go and set up my classroom. Get it done so I had some days before heading back into the daily routine and be ready for the one-day open house our school always had. It was a chance for parents to bring their kids in to see the classroom and be more comfortable on their first day. It was popular with kindergarten and grade one, plus anyone moving to the area and attending the school for the first time. Smaller children enjoyed seeing their classroom and meeting their teacher, and it gave the older ones a chance to find their way around. It was this Wednesday, so I would go in and get ready, then spend the last part of summer taking some photos and walking the beach. Maybe go on a short road trip to PEI.
I mulled over what I had in storage and what I needed to go to the supply store to pick up. I needed a trip to the dollar store for some fun things. The art place for some paper supplies. I called out a list to Siri, then satisfied, sank deeper into the water and drifted.
Simon only entered my thoughts every other moment. Other than that, my ignoring his very existence worked.
Like a charm.
* * *
The next day, I was busy in the classroom when Holly showed up. She carried coffee, smiling and looking at ease.
“Hey,” she greeted me. “I thought I’d find you here.”
She gave me a hug and handed me a latte. “To help restore the energy,” she said with a smile.
She didn’t fool me for a second. But I accepted the beverage and sipped it.
“Delicious.”
“I brought cookies too.”
“Great.”
“I thought I could help.”
“Perfect.” I would never refuse an extra pair of hands. Holly often helped me—we worked well together, and she volunteered during the school year on occasion.
I showed her what I was doing, and for a while, we worked in companionable silence. I sipped my latte and munched the cookies she had baked. I never refused anything Holly made. I wasn’t crazy.
Finally, I met her eyes, seeing the understanding and care in them.
I groaned. “Go ahead. Ask.”
“I don’t have to,” she murmured. “I can see you’re already upset. And you have every reason to be. Simon was an ass.”
I gaped at her. I had expected her to defend him for some reason. Or tell me she warned me not to expect much from him at the start. Her next words shocked me more.
“He knows he was an asshole. He’s upset with himself as well.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. “He should be.”
“He is.” She laughed dryly. “Trust me on that one.”
The words were out before I could stop them. “Is he okay?”
She smiled and came closer, rubbing my arm. “Would you care if he wasn’t?”
“Yes,” I admitted.
“I thought so.” She drew in a deep breath. “He is a bit mixed up in the head right now, but he regrets how he acted. I know he wants to talk to you.” She held up her hand before I could speak. “I am not here on his behalf or to beg you to listen to him. I’m here because you’re my friend and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine.”
“Liar,” she accused affectionately.
I sat on the edge of my desk. “It was so…amazing, Holly. He was so amazing. Funny and sexy. Sweet and passionate. Our night—” I paused and swallowed. “I have never experienced anything like it. It felt like a beginning.”