She’d researched extensively since her aunts’ revelations. She’d found many contradicting stories concerning “her,” “the wild-haired, stormy Valkyrie.”
She nodded, forced herself to hold his now-burning gaze. “Not that I remember anything. They said I was too traumatized, because I subconsciously chose my family’s souls for Valhalla when they died heroically. I wasn’t ready to learn of my true nature when my aunts took me in. So they kept an eye on me until I could access my powers consciously and deal with my fate.”
“The fate that involves swapping my soul for yours.”
At his lifeless statement, another surge of tears rose from her depths. “I only wish I was soulless, like you think.”
“Too late to go all poignant on me. Stick to the facts.”
Anything she said in her defense would only enrage him more. And would be pointless. She’d lost him. But she owed him the truth. It was all she could give him anymore.
She inhaled shakily. “They told me my troubles started when I aroused Odin’s lust and all he aroused was my antipathy. But it seems I was always too blunt, and my rejection humiliated him so much, I gained myself a god
ly enemy who devised an original chastisement for me—fragmenting my immortality. Ever since, I have lived on Earth in one incarnation after another, having a shorter lifespan and hazier memories of my past lives in each.
“In this last incarnation, I was reborn a baby to human parents, oblivious to my past and powers. According to the shrinking pattern of my previous lifespans, this one is expected to be…real short. But the kicker is that this time, when I die, I won’t be coming back. Through the fragmentation of my immortality, Odin has managed to end it. Then he’ll have me, after all. Since no Valkyrie has ever died, he’ll have an unprecedented soul in Valhalla as a bonus, and I won’t find a hero’s welcome like those I’ve been sending there. Apparently I kept complicating my plight by refusing his offers to end my curse by succumbing to him, and after an eternity of rejection, he has a lot of wrath to wreak on me. To escape his clutches, I have one other option—oblivion.”
“That son of a bitch.”
Her heart gave a thunderclap at his savage growl.
Her bruised gaze wavered on his beloved face. He looked wrathful enough to go after Odin and execute him like he had his minions. Was he outraged on her behalf?
“At times like these, I remember that being in Loki’s service was an eternity well-spent. That bastard will get his ass divinely kicked in Ragnarok if it’s the last thing we Lokians do.” His savagery was painful even when it wasn’t all directed at her. “But how does that tie in with the Dísir fostering you to one day harvest my soul?”
She struggled to continue. “The goddess Freyja sent them to offer me either an escape from Odin or oblivion with a place in Fólkvangr. They said I’d get a hero’s welcome in her afterlife. Or if I don’t fancy that, maybe a restoration of my immortality. She wants one thing in return, though. The soul of a Lokian.”
He gave an ugly laugh, disappointment ratcheting in his eyes. It broke her heart into tinier pieces. “So it’s not even me in particular. But what, by Odin’s Damnation, does she want with a Lokian’s soul?”
“It’s the only kind of warrior soul impossible to harvest. Lokians always refuse the lure of either Odin’s Valhalla or Freyja’s Fólkvangr, choosing oblivion instead.”
He frowned, digesting this. “We never knew where Lokians went when they died, but they sure as hell wouldn’t go to Valhalla or Fólkvangr and help that bastard and bitch prepare for Raganrok.”
She gave a difficult nod. “They said I would be the one to change that, bring the first Lokian to Fólkvangr, because of my mortality. No Lokian would be on his guard when he met me, making it possible to come close, fulfill what no other Valkyrie has ever been able to. Freyja believes having a Lokian’s soul would tip the odds in her favor in her eternal conflict with Odin and Loki.”
Bitterness burst in his eyes. “So you searched out not only any Lokian but an Original. I bet that will gain you extra points with your goddess.”
“She’s not my goddess,” she protested. “I don’t know who the hell she is. I didn’t even believe most of what they told me, not even when it explained so much of the weirdness in my life. I didn’t fully believe them until I saw you.”
“And you realized what I was on sight. That is why you approached me, why you followed me.”
“I had no clue what you were until I saw you shift.”
“Are you pretending that you were attracted to me for real?”
“Why do you find that hard to believe? You took one look at me and wanted me, too.”
“I was playing into your trap like the gullible mark you managed to make me.” She shook her head, but he pressed on. “But why didn’t you want me to die? Your mission would have been accomplished….” Words died on his lips, a new suspicion blossoming in his eyes, like blood from a fresh stab. “But that wouldn’t have served your purpose, would it? A Valkyrie can only take a soul if its owner volunteers it. So has everything since then been part of a plan to get me to trust you, to lose my mind over you, so I’d make you a willing offer of my soul? Was it all to prolong your time with me so you’d be there when I finally managed to kill myself?”
“If I wanted to do that, why did I leave that first night? Then the second? How could I have known you’d look for me?”
“Are you kidding? You had me by the balls after one look and you knew it. Dangling your carrot made me go to any lengths to have you, twisted me into too many knots to notice anything was wrong.”
She gaped at him in mounting horror. “Don’t you see the gaping plot holes in this scenario you’re concocting?”
“I see only the irony. That you didn’t realize you didn’t have to go to these lengths. I went out to die that night. And with the way I felt about you already, I would have given you my soul. And to think it was the sight of you that made me cling to my soul, so I could protect you with it.”
His agony mutilated her. “God, Vidar, don’t saddle me with more than I’m guilty of. I told you the facts you demanded, which I had no part in. There’s still my side of it all.”