He transferred his gaze to the burgundy depths in the glass she’d just handed him, collecting his thoughts.
Although he’d been keeping it light and teasing, he knew this had suddenly become serious. He had to be careful what to say from now on. If he messed this up, she’d never let him close enough again to have another round. That would be it.
And he couldn’t let that be it. He wasn’t even going to entertain that possibility. He might have lost many things in his life, but he wasn’t going to lose this.
He raised his eyes to meet hers. It was as if they held pieces of the velvet night in their darkest depths. She was waiting, playing by the rules he’d improvised, giving him a chance to defend himself. He had no doubt it would be his one and only chance. He had to make it work.
He inhaled. “I submit that your so-called overwhelming evidence was all circumstantial and unreliable. I did none of the things you’ve just accused me of. Cite every shred of evidence you think you have, and I’ll debunk each one for you.”
Her face tilted up at him, sending that amazing wealth of hair cascading with an audible sigh to one side. “You didn’t kick Maysoon out of your life?”
“Not in the way you’re painting.”
“How would you paint it? In black-and-white? In full color? Or because the memory must have faded—in sepia?”
“Who’s being a smart-ass now?” At her nonchalant shrug, he pressed on. “What do you know about what happened between Maysoon and me? Apart from her demonizing accounts and your own no less prejudiced observations?”
“Since my observations were so off base, why don’t you tell me your own version?”
Having gotten so used to her contention, he was worried by her acquiescence.
He exhaled to release the rising tension. “I assume you knew what your half sister was like? Maybe the impossible has happened and she’s evolved by age, but back then, she was…intolerable.”
“But of course you found that out after you became engaged to her.”
“No. Before.”
As he waited for her censure to surpass its previous levels, her gaze only grew thoughtful.
There was no predicting her, was there?
“And you still went through with it. Why?”
“Because I was stupid.” Her eyes widened at his harsh admission. She must have thought he’d come up with some excuse to make his actions seem less pathetic and more defensible. He would have done that with anyone else. But with her, he just wanted to have the whole truth out. “I wanted to get married and have a family, but I had no idea how to go about doing that. I thought I’d never leave Zohayd at the time and I’d have to choose a woman from those available. But there was no one I looked at twice, let alone considered for anything lasting. So when Maysoon started pursuing me…”
“Watch it.” Her interjection was almost soft. It stopped him in his tracks harder than if she’d bitten it off. “You’ll veer off into the land of fabrication if you use this rationale for choosing Maysoon. Using the pursuit criterion, you should have ended up with a harem, since women of all ages in Zohayd chased after you.”
“Now who’s taking a stroll in the land of exaggeration? Not all women were after me. Aliyah and Laylah, for instance, considered me only one of the family. And you didn’t consider me human at all, I believe, let alone male.”
Her eyes glittered with the moon’s reflected silver as she ignored his statement concerning her. “And that’s what? Two females out of two million?”
“Whatever the number of women who pursued me, they were after me as an adventure, and each soon gave up when I made it clear I wasn’t into the kind of…entertainment they were after. I wanted a committed relationship at the time.”
“And you’re saying that none wanted that? Or that none seemed a better choice than Maysoon for said relationship?”
“Compared to Maysoon’s pursuit, they were all slouches. And your sister did look like the best deal. Suitable age, easy on the eyes and very, very determined. Sure, she was volatile and superficial, but when her pursuit didn’t wane for a whole year, I thought it meant she really liked what she saw.”
“Her along with everyone with eyes or a brain wave.”
Again she managed to make the compliment the most abrasive form of condemnation, arousing that stinging pleasure he was getting too used to.
“I’m not talking about my alleged ‘beauty’ here. I thought she liked me, and that meant a lot then. I knew how I was viewed in the royal circles in Zohayd, what my attraction was to the women you cite as my hordes of pursuers. I was this exotic foreigner of mixed descent from a much lower social class that they could have a safe and forbidden fling with. Many thought they could keep me as their boy toy.”
Something came into her eyes. Sympathy? Empathy?
It was probably ridicule, and he was imagining things.
“You were hardly a boy,” she murmured.